Rhapsody in F major, "The Gloaming"

Here is a piece for string quintet that I finished the other day. It is about gloaming, or twilight, and it is my mother's favorite time of day. Let me know your thoughts -- I'm sure I'll have revisions at some point in the future. Enjoy!

12 minutes ago, ilv said:

Good work. A few suggestions:
1. At 0:43, I would not move from a B natural to a C in the harmony. Also applies at 1:38 and 5:41.
2. At would not have a E and an F next to each other (minor second apart). I would take out the F.
3. At 3:28, I wouldn't have a C and a D next to each other (major 2nd apart). I would just have a C.
4. At 3:29, I would remove the G3.

 

Thanks for the suggestions! I rather like the dissonances created by seconds, but I could see how they might not be for everyone.

Nice harmonies!

However, I miss a climax that makes the piece more interesting. In my opinion the first minutes sound very interesting, but then it gets too monotonous and I lose my interest. 

For me the dissonances are fine - I even love them - but a clear climax would improve the music! 

On 5/23/2017 at 8:00 AM, Maarten Bauer said:

Nice harmonies!

However, I miss a climax that makes the piece more interesting. In my opinion the first minutes sound very interesting, but then it gets too monotonous and I lose my interest. 

For me the dissonances are fine - I even love them - but a clear climax would improve the music! 

 

Thanks, and interesting point about climax. I suppose my justification was in thinking each line (or most, anyway) had a sort of climax (brought on by great emotion etc.). Anyway, thanks a lot for the input!