Benjamin1451 Posted June 6, 2017 Posted June 6, 2017 I have been working on a serenade for my mom, and just completed this second movement. I was hoping for some feedback, and maybe some recommendations for the final section, where I tried to modulate into D major for a short period of time, but I feel like it just turned into some accented music, and didn't really do much. Thank you for checking it out - Ben PDF untitled1 Quote
Monarcheon Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Generally, it's just kind of flat. It's relatively rudimentary and jumps around a lot when I don't think it needs to. Keeping one line steady is the fun of the serenade; it's more the accompaniment, heterophonically that drives it. :21 - Eb vs. D :26 - C vs. D, with no other chord tones. 1:39 - Crossed voices. Section at 2:04 - will sound awkward in actuality because of the direct octaves accompanying a lone soprano line, just acoustic things. 2:10, last measure of the system section - D major vs. G major tonic. Careful. There never really was a modulation in here, from what I here. More like a resolution to a dominant, since it really doesn't last long. Some of ilv's comments confuse me, especially 5 and 6a, but I think their point is that chord structure need not be so constant which is why a lot of this feels stilted. I hope your mom enjoyed it! Quote
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