The Argument

Hey peeps,

Another draft scene I put together today... because it's so fresh, there's probably a whole bunch of stuff I've missed.

All feedback is welcomed!

Very moving.

The music is wonderful. Nice chord progressions and nice orchestration. Beautiful sound as well.
You achieve much drama and this perfectly fits the video.
The first part with strings is very good, but maybe the chords are too dense. Do you use horns in the chords? Maybe these can be left out, but I am not sure, because these may add more drama to it. Experiment with it!

The second part beginning with the piano introduces a new emotion to me: sadness and loneliness
The phase-out is short, yet very powerful.

Very well done!

I'm of a different mind. The tension of the growing argument of the beginning is not really reflected in the music for me. Since every phrase uses the same growth and dimming technique, it's hard to get a sense that something is growing. For me, I guess.
Were you trying to convey something specific with the use of only the i and VI chords? Grew kind of old eventually for me.
That Picardy third cadence at the end into E major was awkward, just because the fifth of the VI chord has to shift up a semitone, making it seem like more of a phrase modulation than a common chord one, which I think is what you were going for. Maybe adding in a bVII or a v chord in E major would be a nice transition.
In general, yeah, I get where the music is coming from, but I personally had a hard time attaching myself to it.

10 hours ago, Maarten Bauer said:

Very moving.

The music is wonderful. Nice chord progressions and nice orchestration. Beautiful sound as well.
You achieve much drama and this perfectly fits the video.
The first part with strings is very good, but maybe the chords are too dense. Do you use horns in the chords? Maybe these can be left out, but I am not sure, because these may add more drama to it. Experiment with it!

The second part beginning with the piano introduces a new emotion to me: sadness and loneliness
The phase-out is short, yet very powerful.

Very well done!

 

Thanks Maarten ;) there aren't horns in this piece at all. There is a synth drone underneath everything, as well as a static string line. Also I added a high shimmery synth in the pulsating string phrases (there must be a real term for the cresc-decresc thing...). Maybe that makes it too dense, but I tried removing some notes and it left it feeling too open.

Glad you enjoyed it!

9 hours ago, Monarcheon said:

I'm of a different mind. The tension of the growing argument of the beginning is not really reflected in the music for me. Since every phrase uses the same growth and dimming technique, it's hard to get a sense that something is growing. For me, I guess.
Were you trying to convey something specific with the use of only the i and VI chords? Grew kind of old eventually for me.
That Picardy third cadence at the end into E major was awkward, just because the fifth of the VI chord has to shift up a semitone, making it seem like more of a phrase modulation than a common chord one, which I think is what you were going for. Maybe adding in a bVII or a v chord in E major would be a nice transition.
In general, yeah, I get where the music is coming from, but I personally had a hard time attaching myself to it.

 

Thanks for listening, really appreciate it!

To be honest, I almost feel the same way as you. The main reason I think it's acceptable (and why it got the OK from the director) is because it "sounds nice". That's not much good for me personally, however, because this could easily just be stock music. Maybe that's too harsh. I dunno.

As for using i and VI, I initially did that just to sketch out the cue. Then, when listening with the dialogue, I couldn't find anywhere it could change. Like you said, "it's hard to get a sense that something is growing." I think that's the problem I found with the dialogue. It started with a certain sadness, then moved to the older woman snapping, then coming back to apologise over and over again, before a final "I'm sorry, let's go back"-kind of line. Maybe I'm making excuses here, though. Surely I can do something better than this. I'm glad you've made me think about it further.

The Picardy cadence — the only real "interesting" part of this. I used this on an earlier scene as well (attached that)... Listening back it felt like it worked better in that cue, maybe because it just went from i to I, rather than VI to I. It definitely sounds a lot more awkward in this piece. However, if I go VI > bVII > I it sounds so predictable. Also the other cue did a loop of IV > i, making it easier to resolve to the E major (maybe?). Anyway I'm just thinking out loud...

Again, really appreciate the feedback. Love hearing stuff like this, it makes me think about what I'm doing a lot more deeply.

@frXNter Yeah, in my run in's with film scores, I've always found myself a little creatively stifled, but... what are you gonna do, I guess? 
About the E major, it's really only super cliché if you use the bVI too, because of the consistent mode mixture from a major key. You starting off in the minor key gives more of a bait and switch feel to the cadence, rather than just... a switch. From what I could tell from the scene, it was more of a resolution to the fight, so I thought a more cadential feel should be considered, but the director knows best, I suppose. :)