Sonnet VIII for SATB A Capella

Hello, friends!

I am very new to this forum, and just thought I would put this setting of Shakespeare's 8th Sonnet out here. I am open to any criticisms or feedback you have to offer. I apologize for the sub-par recording. The choir did not have overlong to rehearse, and the tenor and sopranos are especially strident sometimes. Which may be partly my fault at times, but it wasn't all my fault! Haha. 

Nice idea to express “mutual ordering” by an imitation. You know your craft. However, I think the -- fine, poetic -- music could do more to express the content of the sonnet. Probably I am thinking here too much in terms of Renaissance and Baroque, but e.g. the contrast of the “all in one“ sound of father, mother and child against the lonely person spoken to could be made more vivid (imitation developing into euphonious choirs? Too cliché?) , or the “pleasantness” more … well, pleasant. Also, I think the content of the Sonnet suffers a bit by missing lines  5-8, though it makes the piece longer to compose and play. Thanks for sharing and for going the extra mile and have your choir sing it! Great!

11 minutes ago, Willibald said:

Nice idea to express “mutual ordering” by an imitation. You know your craft. However, I think the -- fine, poetic -- music could do more to express the content of the sonnet. Probably I am thinking here too much in terms of Renaissance and Baroque, but e.g. the contrast of the “all in one“ sound of father, mother and child against the lonely person spoken to could be made more vivid (imitation developing into euphonious choirs? Too cliché?) , or the “pleasantness” more … well, pleasant. Also, I think the content of the Sonnet suffers a bit by missing lines  5-8, though it makes the piece longer to compose and play. Thanks for sharing and for going the extra mile and have your choir sing it! Great!

 

Thank you for your kind words about my music! :) I do agree that I could have done a better job maybe with my clarity in what I am trying to express. I was just trying to capture the overall message of the sonnet; which to me was: 'Life is not as fulfilling, lived alone'. I was just being careful not to belabor each individual moment in the text, so that the big picture came through more clearly. However, now that you mention it I may have missed a few opportunities to really bring meaning to the text. Perhaps when I get the chance to revisit this piece, I will look at these again, and see if I can find a way to create interaction between text and music more creatively. I wish I had more time for music lately, but I am so busy with college applications. This will be one of my college portfolio pieces, though. 

In response to my cut of the four lines in the middle: this composition was created on commission from the choir, and if I had used all of the lines, it would have been longer than the maximum time for the composition they requested. In the early stages of the piece, before they told me of a time constraint, I actually had a really cool idea for those lines. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my piece and write some feedback for me! 

Yes, given the constraints, it could have been a very wise option to put more emphasis on a coherent mood. Given more time, you would have certainly come up with ideas to combine a basic mood with some special expressions for individual parts of the text. But I wouldn’t tinker too much with this finished composition -- the choir deemed it good enough to accept and singt it, so more than a bit of retouching is probably not warranted. But there will come another opportunity to apply what you have learnt along the way.

Anyways, it is surely a good addition to your college portfolio (though I do know nothing about US college applications and portfolios, so don’t give my opinion too much weight.), as it shows that you know the musical toolbox quite well. 

2 minutes ago, Willibald said:

Anyways, it is surely a good addition to your college portfolio (though I do know nothing about US college applications and portfolios, so don’t give my opinion too much weight.), as it shows that you know the musical toolbox quite well. 

Thank you! Music schools in most parts of the world are largely the same, in my experience (which I guess may be pretty limited...). Especially at conservatories and especially for composition students, so your opinion means a lot!