instrumental yellow mood - guitar piece + video

I feel more and more confident with my work, since I came here. 

many thanks to everyone who helps me with this.

so, my new one-man-band piece is ready.
here is also included an interesting video that is mounted by my friend.
I need your criticism as usual.
my video producer will be happy if you find a few words for him.

Personally, I'd prefer it without the video.

All these circling shapes moving around changing colors took my attention of the music.

Now I'll listen with my eyes closed and tell you what I think about the music itself.

I think it could be good as a background music for something you can focus on easily (not like these shapes),

how about trying to put it on a video of people just walking around in the streets and the parks?

Personally I am a fan of Kaleidoscopes, so the film doesn't bother me. There are things that probably could have been done to make it more effective (on its own and in collaboration with the music), but I don't think it was bad by any means. My advice visually is to have a sense of direction with it - you show mastery of the kaleidoscope effect, now plan ahead so the colors and textures created have a sense of direction as well as the music.

Musically I think you did okay as well :) Melodically and Harmonically I don't hear anything clashing or "disagreeing". A few simple things that would make this a more interesting listen - 

1) Try a brief change of keys, or something similar, to relieve the fact that we stay in the same tonal/harmonic area for the whole piece

2) Your sounds are pretty treble heavy. That's fine, but grates on my ears after a while - check to be sure your headphones/speakers are giving you an accurate idea of your sound. It's not a bad thing in itself (it can be used nicely for effect), but to me it's tiring as a texture for a whole piece

Good work, keep it up!

- Gustav Johnson

Beautiful!

I think you could change the very beginning, the first note kind of sounds like tuning to me, instead of an intro. Maybe change it to something more like the outro. I didn't notice it on the first listen, but it became distracting afterward.

The drum pattern is much too basic in my opinion; it doesn't add anything to the song at this point. Maybe it could start the same way and develop into something more intricate, more fills, and maybe even a rhythm to counterpoint with the guitar. Also, the drums need to be louder, maybe I'm just not hearing all of it. 

A very nice piece..  Might lend itself very well to acoustic guitar lead and and acoustic rhythm guitar ..  Or the lead sound a little smoother muffled jazz guitar sound.. I don't care for the distortion in the rhythm guitar; it distracts from the piece.

 Compositionally, harmonically, melodically - very fine though.  I've been listening and reading about the Beatles recordings a lot lately (my favorite band).. One thing that took a while for me to realize was how Ringo started to play drum parts more orchestrally, in their later songs. Fills, Cymbals, sometimes just clapping on his thighs for certain songs. You might consider a different approach for the drums, to be more symbiotic with the guitar notes.  I like how you bought the drums, in/out. also the build up/down of arrangement, very professional.  Loved the little fingerings you did on lead guitar

You have a very delicate and beautiful melody,  You could also make another section, and do this like a prog-rock songs with a live electric band sound too.. 

Regarding the video..  I understand the the using of programs like that, rather than getting into heavy video ending..  This sort of video is interest for a bit, sort of video moving wall paper..  If you perhaps superimpose some somewhat transparent still items, fading in/out..  or slow panning of another object over it. 

In short, I'd like to see a more complex, and human organic quality to it. because your music is very organic, with the classical feel.  I know how much work it is too make videos.. I haven't even attempted to it.  A nice video can make meld with music and make a 'thing' in itself.  Keep the videos, see if you can find something else to incorporate into it.  If your music was all synths, with oblique melodies, parts etc. this type of video would fit better with it.  But keep it up.  

AND what your video person did do is good. I don't mean to detract from his work.  

On 12/19/2017 at 8:13 AM, Rabbival507 said:

Personally, I'd prefer it without the video.

All these circling shapes moving around changing colors took my attention of the music.

Now I'll listen with my eyes closed and tell you what I think about the music itself.

 

I think it could be good as a background music for something you can focus on easily (not like these shapes),

how about trying to put it on a video of people just walking around in the streets and the parks?

 

Thank you for your honest feedback. I'm really just starting to look for the way of the video to my music, because I do not really like the tendency to accompany the music with some kind of picture. thanks for the tips!

Serg.

On 12/23/2017 at 9:01 PM, Gustav Johnson said:

Personally I am a fan of Kaleidoscopes, so the film doesn't bother me. There are things that probably could have been done to make it more effective (on its own and in collaboration with the music), but I don't think it was bad by any means. My advice visually is to have a sense of direction with it - you show mastery of the kaleidoscope effect, now plan ahead so the colors and textures created have a sense of direction as well as the music.

Musically I think you did okay as well :) Melodically and Harmonically I don't hear anything clashing or "disagreeing". A few simple things that would make this a more interesting listen - 

1) Try a brief change of keys, or something similar, to relieve the fact that we stay in the same tonal/harmonic area for the whole piece

2) Your sounds are pretty treble heavy. That's fine, but grates on my ears after a while - check to be sure your headphones/speakers are giving you an accurate idea of your sound. It's not a bad thing in itself (it can be used nicely for effect), but to me it's tiring as a texture for a whole piece

 

Good work, keep it up!

- Gustav Johnson

 

Thanks for the advice in all directions (video, composition, mixing).

I understand what you are talking about and I will keep this in mind when working further.

really, very constructive thoughts!

Serg

On 12/24/2017 at 1:51 AM, notice_me_maestro said:

Beautiful!

I think you could change the very beginning, the first note kind of sounds like tuning to me, instead of an intro. Maybe change it to something more like the outro. I didn't notice it on the first listen, but it became distracting afterward.

The drum pattern is much too basic in my opinion; it doesn't add anything to the song at this point. Maybe it could start the same way and develop into something more intricate, more fills, and maybe even a rhythm to counterpoint with the guitar. Also, the drums need to be louder, maybe I'm just not hearing all of it. 

 

yes, I could not find a better prediction than to take the fifth step in the dominant bar. I tried many options, but the simplicity won here. I think I have a weak imagination, but I'm constantly working on it))

As for the drums, I would be happy to play a richer drawing, but my technique is still very amateur. that's why out of modesty, I have to put them in the mix in the background. I practice daily and I think in a year or two the situation will change and you'll tell me, hey, why can not I hear the guitar behind these drums? )))

Serg

On 1/7/2018 at 5:35 PM, ilv said:

Looking at the music itself, it's good for concert purposes. It's quite classical in nature. The mixing seems treble-heavy, as someone already said. I think the bass voices could be a bit louder.

 

thanks for the flattering characteristic of the music, I really live in the middle of the forest and apparently it's transmitted through what I write. I really appreciate the feedback about the design of the mix, since it's important for me to perceive people who are oriented towards classical harmony.

Serg.

On 1/10/2018 at 3:15 AM, markstyles said:

A very nice piece..  Might lend itself very well to acoustic guitar lead and and acoustic rhythm guitar ..  Or the lead sound a little smoother muffled jazz guitar sound.. I don't care for the distortion in the rhythm guitar; it distracts from the piece.

 Compositionally, harmonically, melodically - very fine though.  I've been listening and reading about the Beatles recordings a lot lately (my favorite band).. One thing that took a while for me to realize was how Ringo started to play drum parts more orchestrally, in their later songs. Fills, Cymbals, sometimes just clapping on his thighs for certain songs. You might consider a different approach for the drums, to be more symbiotic with the guitar notes.  I like how you bought the drums, in/out. also the build up/down of arrangement, very professional.  Loved the little fingerings you did on lead guitar

You have a very delicate and beautiful melody,  You could also make another section, and do this like a prog-rock songs with a live electric band sound too.. 

 

Regarding the video..  I understand the the using of programs like that, rather than getting into heavy video ending..  This sort of video is interest for a bit, sort of video moving wall paper..  If you perhaps superimpose some somewhat transparent still items, fading in/out..  or slow panning of another object over it. 

In short, I'd like to see a more complex, and human organic quality to it. because your music is very organic, with the classical feel.  I know how much work it is too make videos.. I haven't even attempted to it.  A nice video can make meld with music and make a 'thing' in itself.  Keep the videos, see if you can find something else to incorporate into it.  If your music was all synths, with oblique melodies, parts etc. this type of video would fit better with it.  But keep it up.  

AND what your video person did do is good. I don't mean to detract from his work.  

 

I'm very pleased to hear a compliment about harmony, composition and melody. at the moment it interests in the first place for me, since I'm a beginning self-learned composer.

sometimes I use a duo of acoustic guitars in my music, but this time I decided to do only electric guitars. Perhaps it was worth playing an acoustic fragment in one of the variations.

oh, Beatles, this is my absolutely starting point. I'll tell you my Beatles story, if it's appropriate here. I was born in the USSR, unfortunately, but who can choose it? )))

at some point we had a new young physics teacher. as once at the time of the test work, he turned on the Beatles in his room and slightly opened the door. it was like an electric shock, the first thing I heard from Western music. I came to him after school. and not only me. so I met my wife, although we studied in the same class before)) we are now together. After a long time we moved to our forest and this teacher came to visit us quite often.

a few years ago in our hometown came the war. we had a base here to transport refugees to a safe area. including our teacher lived here for a while. not long ago the country took a course toward abandoning the communist past. monuments were demolished, streets were renamed. now in the neighboring town there is Lennon Square, instead of Lenin Square )) as well as a huge graffiti of John on the wall of a 5-storey building with words "give peace a chance". I took a photo of our daughter against the background of John and sent it to our teacher. the circle is closed ))

so, for me it is very revealing how Ringo plays especially since the Revolver. but I sat down for the drums just a year ago, I hope soon I can play more sane.

well that you paid attention to this discord of music and video. we will think how to do it more naturally.

many thanks

Serg

I was already in a band (14 years old)..   I did get to see the Beatles live in 1966 in Boston. And I met and spoke to John Lennon for 90 seconds in a small restaurant in Boston in the mid 70's.   Yes the Beatles were a profound impact on me.. And George Martin's use of orchestra and other instruments  to widen the scope of their music, was the path I followed for many years.. Only in the last 8 years did I really begin to closely study how Beatles songs were created.  And yes, Ringo's drumming, really changed with Revolver on.  He left a lot of space for the brilliance of the rest of music.  Beatles rarely ever had any 'wasted' notes in their music.  Everything was there for some purpose.  Amazing what these untrained musicians did. Of course, years of doing good covers, taught them all they needed to know.  

Keep up the great work, I will look out for your posts now.