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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I had a little difficulty picking out the form of the melody that came in about 0:19. I couldn't really hear where it was going or where it landed. 
The F minor at 0:40 was very welcome (and I would have preferred it to come a little earlier). I would have loved to see you experiment with different chords apart from I, IV, and V by now, because they have grown a little monotonous, although the changes in orchestration and texture make up for that a little. I think 2:18 is the first time you change chords, and I'd have preferred that to come earlier as well, or even bringing forward the horn soli at 3:24.

Overall it sounded very nice, and there was a little variation, but it didn't really take me on a journey. I think you're getting too comfortable in the colours that you've built up (although they are very pleasant indeed), or too unwilling to change them. Some other changes that could build tension or change colour could be rhythmic variation (taking out the constant movement of the crotchets if you've written in 3/4, or taking out the quavers, or making a few bars be entirely quavers), instrument colour variation (pizz in strings, giving melody to a combination of instruments, going to a much different register of the instruments, etc), harmonic variation (going on a wandering harmonic journey, modulation, harmonizing the melody), or some counterpoint (have two melodies going at once, or have an instrument start the melody a bar after a different one starts). I think the one that grated on me the most was probably the rhythm - by the end I was really sick of the rhythm you've given to the strings most of the piece.

Posted

You have a very distinct style that shines through nicely. The orchestration makes the whole piece very colourful; however, I share @stewboy’s opinion that the horn part isn’t placed well at the end. I remember that you once remarked that endings aren’t your strong suit and I would concur. The last few notes are not very satisfying.

Now, I have the feeling that this waltz could be danceable, so changes in tempo or in rhythm etc would be a bad idea IMHO. However, a have the impression that the piece could be structured more effectively, e.g. in offering more rememberable repeats of material interspersed, and playing around more with orchestration, e.g. letting the melody wander through different instruments etc.

Thank you for sharing your efforts. Very pleasant!

Posted (edited)

Thanks for listening and the feedback. I tried to keep this very in the popular and cinematographic way actually, but I know what you mean. Something never convinced me 100% about this one, and I think it is precisaly the monotony it may have, nevertheless there are some melodies that I really like (the one of the second 0:19 I find it nice, well maybe it is only me, and the F minor melody is my prefered one). :)

Edited by Donethur

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