I don't know if it's better or worse

I made my quintet piece a bit longer, yet I don't know what to think about it.

Making a piece longer doesn't always make it better.

The man in charge of the chamber group sent me their latest performance,

without a single word attached to it. I assume that by doing that he asked me to make something closer to that.

I really don't know what to do or what to think about the piece.

Here's the link for their performed piece, please watch and see if you think that the level, style, and length of my piece fit to this group.

Maybe it's a bit too much to ask for, but I set and listened to pieces that are much longer than that on this forum,

I guess some of you would be kind enough to give me from their time.

Audio might not be exactly the same as the notes.

If you have the time for that, please look over the notes.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

I wouldn't make any assumptions about why you were sent the video if there was no commentary included.  If you're curious, ask.  He may have wanted to give you an idea of what the difficulty level they are capable of, or the tone quality of their particular instruments, in case that would be helpful, or he may have just been being self-promotional and hoping you would share the video with your music-loving friends to help generate excitement for their performance of your work and other performances in general.  There is a lot of back-scratching between various music contacts in my world.  Many of the people I sing with are in multiple groups, so we spend a lot of time trying to sell tickets to each other and to each other's friends.  You may now be on the long list of people that he sends an email to whenever there is something to announce or promote the group.  

That said, I think your piece is a nice length.  If you want to extend it even further, think of smaller and larger structures, (symphonies are made up of movements, movements are made up of A and B sections, sections are made up of statements of the theme in various ways), and giving different players moments to shine individually or as duos and trios against the larger texture.  You're doing a lot of that already, but if you get stuck you can always cut and paste the structure from a piece of music by someone else that is a good length and that you enjoy.  Break it down, measure by measure, who has the lead, who is supporting, how many times does the theme repeat and what changes when it does.  (:  I'm playing with the same set problem right now, so I feel your angst!  Good luck!  This sounds good!

18 hours ago, pateceramics said:

I wouldn't make any assumptions about why you were sent the video if there was no commentary included.  If you're curious, ask.  He may have wanted to give you an idea of what the difficulty level they are capable of, or the tone quality of their particular instruments, in case that would be helpful, or he may have just been being self-promotional and hoping you would share the video with your music-loving friends to help generate excitement for their performance of your work and other performances in general.  There is a lot of back-scratching between various music contacts in my world.  Many of the people I sing with are in multiple groups, so we spend a lot of time trying to sell tickets to each other and to each other's friends.  You may now be on the long list of people that he sends an email to whenever there is something to announce or promote the group.  

That said, I think your piece is a nice length.  If you want to extend it even further, think of smaller and larger structures, (symphonies are made up of movements, movements are made up of A and B sections, sections are made up of statements of the theme in various ways), and giving different players moments to shine individually or as duos and trios against the larger texture.  You're doing a lot of that already, but if you get stuck you can always cut and paste the structure from a piece of music by someone else that is a good length and that you enjoy.  Break it down, measure by measure, who has the lead, who is supporting, how many times does the theme repeat and what changes when it does.  (:  I'm playing with the same set problem right now, so I feel your angst!  Good luck!  This sounds good!

 

Thanks for taking your time to give me a feedback!

I'll try doing as you said.

Thanks again :)

I second what @pateceramics said regarding the video, especially as your piece and the one in the video don’t have that much in common besides the composition of the ensemble. You use the contrast of thinning and thickening the texture extensively, and this often to great effect. At first, I wanted to criticise some of the harmonies, but soon I realised they are part of the style you employed. So, fine with me. The only tip I can give you: You deal with some of your ideas rather quickly, like the passage in 6/8, or the slower passage in m. 68ff. Also, the “timeless“ part could use a bit more timelessness to convey its meaning  … . Probably you can develop some of these phrases a bit more along the lines already mentioned if you want to lengthen your piece. However, I would advise you to not overdo it. At the moment, your composition is certainly not boring, and you should keep it that way. (The main motif is especially energetic!)

14 hours ago, Willibald said:

I second what @pateceramics said regarding the video, especially as your piece and the one in the video don’t have that much in common besides the composition of the ensemble. You use the contrast of thinning and thickening the texture extensively, and this often to great effect. At first, I wanted to criticise some of the harmonies, but soon I realised they are part of the style you employed. So, fine with me. The only tip I can give you: You deal with some of your ideas rather quickly, like the passage in 6/8, or the slower passage in m. 68ff. Also, the “timeless“ part could use a bit more timelessness to convey its meaning  … . Probably you can develop some of these phrases a bit more along the lines already mentioned if you want to lengthen your piece. However, I would advise you to not overdo it. At the moment, your composition is certainly not boring, and you should keep it that way. (The main motif is especially energetic!)

 

Thanks ^-^ 

I'm not sure what you meant by "m. 68ff" and "making the timeless part more timeless".

Please clarify if possible.

Also, what do you mean by "main motif"?

I look at it as one developed motif.

The notes you quoted are what I meant by "main motif" - the one characterising the whole piece. Now, even if your whole piece is based on this motif, some passages are clearly infused with it and others are probably conceptually based on it, but not in an audible way for the casual listener. (Which is totally ok!)

M. 68ff means "measure 68 and the following ones"

More timeless meant: The effect is great, but for a timeless passage, it's rather quickly over. Probably you could use this part for a meditative digression. Alas, I don't understand the Hebrew text in the score, but it seemed to me like this passage is rather central to the piece. 

5 hours ago, Willibald said:

The notes you quoted are what I meant by "main motif" - the one characterising the whole piece. Now, even if your whole piece is based on this motif, some passages are clearly infused with it and others are probably conceptually based on it, but not in an audible way for the casual listener. (Which is totally ok!)

M. 68ff means "measure 68 and the following ones"

More timeless meant: The effect is great, but for a timeless passage, it's rather quickly over. Probably you could use this part for a meditative digression. Alas, I don't understand the Hebrew text in the score, but it seemed to me like this passage is rather central to the piece. 

 

Oh sorry I didn't see that it has Hebrew in it.

It says:"make the notes as long as you wish, a dramatic rit. is welcome(actually it says "preferred" but I don't think it fits there right)".

I know the player personally so I guessed he'd understand what I meant by that.

Thanks for the help,

I'll talk to the violinist about changing this passage a bit.

It was quite experimental, that's the first time I tried doing something like that,

so I didn't think about making more than a few timeless notes.

Thanks for pointing this out!