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Posted (edited)

I decided to post this as incomplete, because this only the first movement of hopefully three that will make up my second symphony. If this is incorrect, please feel free to move this to the proper location.

The instruments are the same as my first symphony: Vibraphone, Marimba, Crash Cymbals, Cabasa, Piano, Celesta, String Synthesizer, Jazz Guitar, and Acoustic Bass. I placed emphasis on establishing a melody and then having it reappear later. The movement lasts about 5 minutes, and was written in Musescore 2 using the Compifont soundfont. Like my first one, in the mp3, there are popping sounds that I believe are caused by an issue with Musescore and the guitars. The movement starts off slow, and then becomes more upbeat as it goes on.

Edited by kylebnjmnross
Corrected Bass, Slower Tempo at Measure 49
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  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

I think at about the 1 min mark I would do a cymbal roll instead of crash. Again this is your piece so don't think you have to change it just because I said something.

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Posted

The whole first section to 21 I get is supposed to feel like a build to a huge I chord, but it's currently not backed by anything; I don't feel the growth that should be happening. The move to the new chord was a great idea, but orchestrationally, you're missing out on percussion, new moving lines, and just generally the effect of more spaced out velocity, rather than having it concentrated and specific like it is here. The chord at 21 is also strange because the high string parts are split at an octave which makes it sound a lot less cohesive as a single harmonic unit.
23, by the way, starts off sounding a lot like Zelda's theme.
Speaking of 23 on, the rhythms need to be fixed to fit into the 4/4 scheme. Two dotted eighths and an eighth won't cut it, because you're not defining where the beat is that way. You should tie the second dotted eighth to an eighth to show that beat 4 still exists. 27's rhythm, while interesting, needs to be totally rewritten to follow that rule.
Why does the 27 theme last so short in its introduction? It's a cool, related change, and when 31 comes in it's totally out of left field; it feels like 27's theme has been cheated in favor of something distinctly unrelated except by parallel harmony.
37, you need to rework how you're working with your percussion. Use accents are something, not dynamics.
Again at 49, it's completely unrelated, and the idea from 37 isn't built up to anything, though it is quite well developed. It just sounds like it's been cutoff. What's weirder is that 37 comes back at 57 but sounding completely out of place again. It would be really cool if it was transitioned into better. Using a whole note without any crescendo or orchestrational power is very jumpy sounding.
Overall, you have a lot of good ideas, but it feels like a puzzle rather than a river's flow, or like a series of jump cuts rather than things that lead into others. Focusing on your orchestraion around these point can make a big difference and common tone modulations will help you in not having to jump around so much. 

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