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Posted

This is a piece I wrote years ago, for some reason I was reflecting on all the needless poverty in the world and this bubbled up. Sorry if it depresses you!

Mike

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Posted

I don't think it's depressing, I think that it's a beautiful nocturne.

I know that it's not what you intended to create, but it gave me the vision of a big estate owner looking out of his window at night.

His garden's white flowers gloom in the moonlight, and the wind gently moves the leafs of the trees.

I enjoyed the piece, thanks for sharing it here.

Posted

Opening with a third was an interesting choice, as it made the tonality ambiguous. Reminded me of Death and Transfiguration's opening.
Chromatic movement in the bass, especially downwards was another nice touch.
I heard a bit of a rondo form, when I don't think you really needed to rely on classical to forms to get your message across, even though what you wrote is quite beautiful. I always encourage people to move away from them, when they get good at what they do.
The reliance of suspension was a little bit repetitive for me, but I can see how it fits in with your chromatically shifting tonality so it didn't get to me too much.
Nice job.

Posted

Thanks for sharing this very touching piece. Very well structured, and emotionally moving. Some of the suspensions really sounded harsh (around 0:27 and 1:13), but it befits the topic. 

Slightly off topic, I have to disagree with @Monarcheon regarding the form. Forms where parts or the whole of a theme resurface again provide not only a good structure for the composer, but for the listener as well, and for something about a “cycle of poverty” it is even more fitting. I would not advise anyone to abandon such forms that structure early music as well as modern pop songs, though in different disguises and under varying labels. (But of course, tastes differ, and I fully accept the possibility I am totally wrongheaded.)

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Very lovely - especially the freedom of phrasing and subtle suspensions (this seems to be an issue of some contention, but I've always liked the effect of suspensions and don't mind them being used frequently).  I agree with Monarcheon that the opening reminds me of Death and Transfiguration.  It's a really effective way to open a piece like this. 

Personally, I probably would have rounded it off around the 1:20-30 mark.  Having listened to it about five times, that's where I felt the idea came to its natural conclusion each and every time.  Some musical ideas exhaust themselves quickly, which is especially true of these sorts of spur of the moment improvisations.  It's not a fault - in fact, when a composer recognizes and respects this, the result is often wonderful.  Chopin's A Major prelude comes to mind; had he tried to extend it, I don't think it would be nearly so successful.

  • 2 months later...
Posted

I don't think I can add much that hasn't been said already, but I don't like to listen to something that I really like, and not leave a comment, so here is a comment.  I really like this peace.  I personally don't feel it has a depressing quality.  It is introspective and perhaps a little melancholy, but not depressing.  It is very lovely.

Regards

Mark

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