Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

I think it's an excellent example of romantic nocturno.

There's a total lack of expression slurs, which I suppose are played.

The harmonic change from measure 22 to 23 is a bit abrupt, but the changes that come afterwards are very nice.

Although sometimes you break the left hand pattern, it's just for a moment. I think some contrast in that hand is always welcome. The arpeggios and broken chords are very beautiful, sometimes chromatic; but some contrast reinforces the second coming of the main theme.

The end is a bit long because the chords don't bring anything new.

Anyway, these are suggestions. I think your piece is quite nice.

  • Thanks 1
Posted

m. 5, Bb should probably be A#, as it's a lead to the dominant as the next note of the melody.
In the beginning the parallel octaves in between both hands is harmonically dry.
m. 20 - no reason for the left hand part to be so empty. I get the effect you're going for, but the register of the left hand prevents it.
I agree with Luis about the ending being long for the same reasons. Feels like an A' section and not an ending per se.
I was mostly a fan of all your chord progressions. 
The rhythm of the melody didn't have to be so standard, I feel. It's a bit to beat-magnetized... like it overemphasizes the beat, which is okay in some situations, but this functions less like a waltz and more like flowing ambiguity, which your melodic rhythm prevents occasionally. 

  • Thanks 1
Posted

Okay, I have tried to update this piece based on the advice given. Please do let me know if this is a step in the right/wrong direction. Your feedback was very constructive, so thanks for that.

MP3
0:00
0:00
PDF

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...