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Posted

I wrote this piece a while back looking for some feedback please. I am going to attach the pdf and 2 mp3 recordings. One is a voice recording(which isnt that great)and a piano recording.

 

PDF
Posted

I worry that the chord before your grand pause at measure 29 sounds a little too final and the performance would be interrupted by a few tentative claps from the audience before the piece was actually finished.  It might not be a problem in an actual performance, but if you find that it is, you could play with the way you handle rhythm or tempo there so that it was more apparent that there was more coming, change the chord progression to add a bit of tension, have one part hold their note with a fermata while the others cut out and then reentered... Many ways to keep the tension at that moment.  

You also might want to add a few accents to the score.  The excitement here comes so much from the rhythm, accents would help clarify the stressed syllables a bit for the first sight-read through.  

Nice job!

Posted
1 hour ago, pateceramics said:

I worry that the chord before your grand pause at measure 29 sounds a little too final and the performance would be interrupted by a few tentative claps from the audience before the piece was actually finished.  It might not be a problem in an actual performance, but if you find that it is, you could play with the way you handle rhythm or tempo there so that it was more apparent that there was more coming, change the chord progression to add a bit of tension, have one part hold their note with a fermata while the others cut out and then reentered... Many ways to keep the tension at that moment.  

You also might want to add a few accents to the score.  The excitement here comes so much from the rhythm, accents would help clarify the stressed syllables a bit for the first sight-read through.  

Nice job!

 

Thank You so much! @pateceramics

Posted

my most major complain is measure 24, with that tie on the tenor 1, you're kind'of telling them to treat it like a diphthong (two sounds 1 syllable, ex = pie. pi-e) So I suggest getting rid of that tie. Besides that I'd say accents would be helpful. You accented De of deo every time so you should mark that. Besides that it's melodically and harmonically interesting. 

Also I'd suggest making a 4 system score, one with every singer separated from the other. I wouldn't confidently perform a piece like this unless the parts are well known. 

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