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Posted

Great concepts in here - I just wish they were a little more cohesive. When you started to expand the rising figure it was really exciting, but had a tendency to die down when it was starting to get going. This combined with the parallel 4th's (plus inverted fifths) gave it a cool arpeggiated hectatonic sound, but I was really hoping for some more harmonic evolution to match the potential elongation of the figures. Nice work.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

This piece is close to genius, but the Adagio section on the fourth page is a flat out mistake, in my opinion. You make such a cool use of 4ths and 5ths, together with the figurations like at the beginning. I could be mistaken, but I think on page 4 you were trying to fuse the obnoxiously stereotypical “classical sound”, complete with overbearing V7 chord, with the mysterious and somewhat forlorn sections that came before, and use them as a contrast between “innocence” and “pessimistic cynicism.” It just comes across as a tease and a troll! 👹

You’re really on to something with this piece, I highly commend you revise it and develop it different, as Monarch alluded to.

Thanks for sharing 😸

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