The Great Big Machine in The Sky - Brandon Schwab - all feedback is welcome

This in no way is intended to ever be performed or reviewed, just a piece to listen to. Heres the score if you wanted to read along. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Sx3nLZjgDl-y0F1ODOQWo4uS5IWiA6Z4/view?usp=sharing

This whole V/vi -> I thing you do is interesting, but maybe a bit overdone, especially since the voice leading is the same every time. This is especially awkward at 2:04 (m. 32) when the moment is undercut by the familiarity with the material.
Your counterpoint begins to get a bit rough around the minute mark. Passing tones against a static voice in oblique motion will not be heard as such; it's either a suspension or a retardation and both need to be substantiated.
Flutes at 24 could occasionally be in octaves to vary it up, give a bit of range. 
Interesting bit of hemiola at the end there. I'm not sure what the effect of that is.