Try to Smile (Jan 2018)

I've gone back to this piece to look at patterns and structures in what I tend to make. So far I see simple melody but colorful chords and dissonance in the music, ostinato in the bass and syncopated rhythm throughout. The key signature in the sheet music is my best guess at what it might've been, but I do hear there might be modulations. I tend to move away from main idea but bring back the idea at the end or throughout. Lots of repetition, this may be something I should hold back on in the future. I am very interested to know why this song works or why it may not work. I have the feeling that the melody never rests on what might be the home note, which makes it sound ambiguous. I think. Thank you for listening. Feedback, if you wish, is greatly appreciated. 

Hi, Em! This was a great melancholic piece and I enjoyed listening to it!

It seems to me you start the piece in A major and end it in D major, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. You tend to "color" your major triads (at least the tonic and subdominant) as maj7 chords,  so this piece never seems to have a home key—it sort of walks in the neighborhood of A/D major and their relative minors. I like it when songs have this ambiguity!

The repetition didn't bother me, as I don't think you were going for a strictly classical feel. To me, it sounded like a pop/classical hybrid—maybe even something from a movie—so the repeated phrases seemed to belong. I will mention a troubling bar or two from the score, if that's ok. In m48-49 you have the RH playing a sustained F# while the LH is supposed to hit that same note a few times, too. This, of course, won't be playable, so that passage may need to be adjusted.

I think you definitely have talent as a composer! Your musical form will become more structured the more you compose. Keep up the good work!

Hey!

I just find this piece very enjoyable! I'd recomend listening to Egberto Gismonti as your style reminded me of some of his pieces. He's a Brazilian composer pianist and guitarist, and I'd recomend his album "Infância". I believe its available at spotify, apple music, deezer, etc. Might be great inspiration for your next pieces.

Best of luck!

@Tónskáld Thank you so much for listening and your input! You've cleared up some fog for me, especially about the key and the ambiguous sound. It's interesting, the tonic and the subdominant maj7s share the first and third degree notes. And the tonic is the fifth degree of whatever the 4th degree is. I think I can use this in the future. You're right about m.48-49, I'll try it sustaining an f# an octave higher. Thanks again! 😄

@Jean Szulc Hey Jean! Thank you! I just checked out some songs from infancia, and what an eccentric composer, its jazzy/pop/classical. Its playful but jarring sometimes and melancholic sometimes. Always skillful. I gotta share! Link is below for anyone who happens on this thread and wants to check him out. Three songs from Infancia played live with his group. I'd love to compose and play like him one day