selcukozer001 Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 https://soundcloud.com/selcukozer001/sarab Hi, I have recently finished composing this piano track. I was inspired by Sarabande of Handel (That is why I named it "Sarab" :)). I wonder if you like it. Please also give me some feedback. Thanks for listening to it. Quote
Jean Szulc Posted November 24, 2019 Posted November 24, 2019 Hey! It would be great to have access to the sheets if you want proper feedback. Is there anyway you can provide those? Quote
selcukozer001 Posted November 24, 2019 Author Posted November 24, 2019 Hi @Jean Szulc Thanks for listening. I'm attaching the sheets. Sarab.pdf PDF Sarab Quote
Lotsy piano Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 Hello Selcukozer! :) I think the sound world of the piece is nice, it sounds good in a way, (nothing really sounds like wrong note or anything like that, if you know what I mean), but what I would consider changing maybe is something about the left hand, particularly the bass notes, for ex. the very first A major chord's bass in your song is E, which makes the chord really an A/E chord, the E bass note makes your A broken chord sound somehow unbalanced or a little bit weird (in terms of function), because E is the dominant (5th) note of A major chord, and we usually use the dominant note as a bass only in specific places like writing a finishing part of a music, the dominant note usually leads to the tonic note, especially if it is a bass note. I'm sorry I don't think I'm the best person to help you with this in English language, but I haven't seen others writing here, so I thought I will try to help a little bit. :) So if you would change your A major and soon after C major broken chords' bass note from E (of A major), and from G (of C major), then it would sound way more natural. So, from lowest to highest notes, now your notes are these: E A C# A I think it would sound much better if you would put the "A" note in the bass at that part, like this for ex.: A C# E A Now this might mean that you have to change a few notes before that or after that, for example you might have to change a few notes in your D-minor broken chord so it will move smoothly into the A major broken chord, there are many solutions for that, I suggest you experiment with that a little bit, I think it can be a really useful exercise. Good luck! (If you stuck, I can send you a few examples of mine later, just ask me.) Simply said: Just invert the chord, because the inversion you are using now with your A major and C major in the beginning for example make the wrong suggestion/feeling, because it sounds very dominant-like because of the reasons I typed above. Quote
Tónskáld Posted November 25, 2019 Posted November 25, 2019 55 minutes ago, Lotsy piano said: I'm sorry I don't think I'm the best person to help you with this in English language, but I haven't seen others writing here, so I thought I will try to help a little bit. 🙂 You're doing a great job, Lotsy! I'm a native English speaker and I understand your explanations perfectly well. 🙂 On 11/23/2019 at 5:13 PM, selcukozer001 said: I have recently finished composing this piano track. I was inspired by Sarabande of Handel (That is why I named it "Sarab" :)). I wonder if you like it. Please also give me some feedback. Thanks for listening to it. You have a nice working grasp of foundational harmony, Selcuk. Nothing in this piece seemed out of place or forced; you did well in transitioning between related chords. In terms of pace, however, the piece seemed to meander aimlessly and I was a little tired of hearing the same chord progressions repeated over and over. The endless arpeggios in the left hand, too, seemed to hinder the pace. All of this is easily corrected with more practice and experience, so don't worry too much about it! I think you did a great job overall and I look forward to hearing more of your stuff! 1 Quote
selcukozer001 Posted February 26, 2020 Author Posted February 26, 2020 Dear @Lotsy piano and @Tónskáld I'm sorry for my late reply. Than you for your detailed analysis. I can't tell how much I appreciate these constructive critiques. I'll keep them in my mind. Thanks for helping me to improve myself. Quote
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