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Posted

Didn't like the old c major nocturne so tried to make a new one. Please do leave feedback.

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Posted

Very nice nocturne. It sounds very "pop", probably because there are chords as Vm and bVII, sometimes cadential. I think it's good that it sounds pop, as a "reinvention" of the nocturne. I also like the variety of the left hand.

I'll point out some issues, as suggestions:

1. The melody is a "fixed" one, I mean, encaged in measures. It would benefit of some connections, suspensions, etc... Just to sometimes free the melody from the pulses.

2. From measure 95 to 100 I would change to 2/4....

3. The repetition of part A in the final section is dark and muddy because it seems you take the left hand down and octave and you get thick chords. In that range the chord should be open, or use a fifth between the two lower notes; and perhaps make them lighter. Here for example: you can avoid those G.

4. In fact, some sort of climax is missing in the last part (or near). I think if you had taken the final repetition all an octave up, it would work (but it's just one (my) solution, if you like it as it is... good).

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  • Thanks 1
Posted

Hi @Luis Hernández thanks very much for the detailed feedback here. Yes it does tend to fall on the beat and in measures, will try and add suspensions. I see what you mean about it sounding muddy, probably worth deleting some of the chord notes as you said. I'll shift the last part up an octave (at least some of it). Thanks again for the good advice on this piece.

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