A rock song I composed!

Here's a song I wrote called immune. I'm pretty new to production, so I'd love some feedback on that as well as the song itself.

In pure production terms, the voice stands as out as very dry and prominent in comparison to the rest of the mix. This is less of an issue during the verses, but is very noticeable in the chorus. Crash cymbals on every beat is also not a great sound, as it has a tendency to obscure offbeats.
Compositionally, the switch of E7 going back to Dm7 and going to Am is an interesting one, though I don't think E7 always has to be in third inversion to make the voice leading smooth. Good first attempt!

Good first attempt.  I suggest you find songs you like, and take ideas from them.  I recommend you get some graph paper. colored felt tip markers, and 'map out' the arrangement and production of songs you feel are in the same vein..  I take each instrument and use a different color to represent where they play, and where they leave out.  Also sit down with pad and papers and listen about 20 times.  On each pass write down the time, where something happens you like, or don't like. On each pass strive to notice something you didn't before.  

Not sure where you'd go with production.  Could be a folk song, with just guitar and voice.  You could lay down a few guitar tracks, strum on one, play some sing note riffs,  Just pick the top four strings, or bottom 3..  The point is you want to add things, that fit with other tracks.  You could also write out the lyrics, and number the measure number across the graph paper.  

This is to visually give you an overview of song..  Keep writing, and keep listening to music, to get ideas from..  You can also find some great free video tutorials on everything from guitar playing, singing, arrangement, production. Be patient,  learning to become a great musician, song writer, can and will take the rest of your life.. if it is your passion..  The beauty with music. Is  picking up a guitar and starting to write songs, doesn't take that lone,..  Three chords, and some strumming, and you can write a hit.  Refining the process is a forever learning process.

Good work,  Keep it up.

It's pretty good, Joyce. And nice lyrics too. Your pitch needs a little work, that's all.

On 12/24/2019 at 4:36 PM, Joyce T. said:

Here's a song I wrote called immune. I'm pretty new to production, so I'd love some feedback on that as well as the song itself.

 

 

So cool! Good job. 

I liked how great for a beginner in general. Maybe I would like more drama while it's still dry, but I think in time you will open up more and not be shy. Overall very good, don't stop