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Posted

Repeat to the beginning sounds unnatural. 
Going to 27, I had no reason to think C was a leading tone to C# minor again. Awkward.
Dim at the end likely starts too late. The onset of removal of rhythmic intrigue starts at 64, a better place for a poco dim.

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Posted

I think the repeat signs are a bit unnecessary. I would rather you doubled the size of each section and add tiny differentiations to it, instead of simply repeating. That's just my opinion.

Besides that, I think the coda is a bit offseting. Perhaps it could take the ideas already presented in the rest of the piece and elevate them to a more virtuosic level.

However, if I said I didin't enjoy this I would be lying. The themes are well written and the piece flows quite well.

Good job.

Posted

I'm so confused by the beginning. You introduce a nice motif in measures 4-5... yet.... do away with it like last night's dirty dish water. Would be nice to see more brevity in material. This seems to just fling thematic material at you left and right. The bombastic ending is a nice touch -but... where's the melodic material? 

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