J.Santos Posted March 17, 2020 Posted March 17, 2020 (edited) DELETED Edited April 28, 2020 by J.Santos Quote
Luis Hernández Posted March 19, 2020 Posted March 19, 2020 Canción de cuna: beautiful piece. It seems to have an AAB form.. That is AA and a short coda. The melody is quite minimal, in fact it reminds to some of Philip Glass Etudes (except for harmonies). The modulation is good. Taking into account this type of melody, the constant arpeggiated pattern, the coda or final part is fresh. Although the sextuplets are still there, the distribution now is different, also the quadruplets in melody help to make it sound different. It's nice as it is, but with this material I would have planned an ABA form or ABAB, so this coda or B part break the repetition. But as you know, this are just opinions. 1 Quote
Luis Hernández Posted March 19, 2020 Posted March 19, 2020 Viaje de invierno: this more complex and it fulfills a description of winter. I only have a suggestion on the melody. The pattern of octaves is very present. Perhaps in the final part I would explore to "erase" some notes leaving for example the higher ones in syncopation. The middle part, with chords provide good contrast and is nice. Also de pianissimo part from m. 51 is beautiful. Good work. 1 Quote
jawoodruff Posted March 19, 2020 Posted March 19, 2020 The lullaby reminds me of LIszt's Lebestraum -only less imaginative. I like it though. The B7 in measure 15 doesn't quite work and seems to sever the environmental that preceded it drastically -I'd look for a different progression here. The material at measure 17 also is a bit departed from the first half. A little too much, in my opinion. I'd look for a way to tie the two sections together (mind you, this could also be due to the transitory progression I mentioned at measure 15). When you change textures like this, it's always a good idea to foreshadow the change to prepare. In Viaje, I noticed you love the type of texture created by the opening bars. I've seen this in a few of your works. So, that said, let's see where you take this. Here, you took it where I figured you would -give me something new. That said, I think you missed an awesome opportunity to explore the tonal landscape in measures 21-30. Formalistically, I think this one is much more cohesive then the lullaby. Nice works! 1 Quote
Guillem82 Posted March 20, 2020 Posted March 20, 2020 Hi, I like these two short pieces. Viaje al invierno (from bar 31): the texture reminds me quite a bit the opening Beethoven Waldstein's sonata. I would consider there rewriting some of the the thirds below C3. Short intervals in the low register are better to be avoid. Anyway good work. Saludos desde Barcelona! Quote
J.Santos Posted March 21, 2020 Author Posted March 21, 2020 19 hours ago, Guillem82 said: Hi, I like these two short pieces. Viaje al invierno (from bar 31): the texture reminds me quite a bit the opening Beethoven Waldstein's sonata. I would consider there rewriting some of the the thirds below C3. Short intervals in the low register are better to be avoid. Anyway good work. Saludos desde Barcelona! Gracias! Quote
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