Adagio oboe

hi, i just joined. What do you think about the Adagio movement I wrote for Oboe? 

Hi, wellcome to the forum!

Beautiful adagio, I would like to have a look at the score.

3 hours ago, Guillem82 said:

Hi, wellcome to the forum!

Beautiful adagio, I would like to have a look at the score.

 

thanks for your comment. I added it to the first post.

My comments are that in the first couple of minutes the dynamics of neither oboe nor accompaniment varied at all so it sounded more like a harmonium. The piece has scope for enormous dynamic variation that would give it expression. And... the harmony doesn't vary at the command of the melody. It could be you wanted it like this, in which case pse disregard my comment. It may be worth looking at what triads/chords could fit the melody to give it greater expression - more in keeping with CPP as it's a tonal piece. 

It certainly has potential but needs more work.  

Apologies for the loss in translation. 

1 hour ago, Quinn said:

Bunu 'sentezlenmiş' bir performans olarak mı yoksa canlı bir performansın ne olabileceğinin bir örneği olarak görmek isteyip istemediğinizi sormak zorundayım.

Canlı bir performans gibi, oboistlerin nefes alması gerektiğini hatırlamanız gerekir. Obua alışılmadık bir şekilde yeniden nefes alıyor - çünkü alet çok az miktarda rüzgar alıyor, obuaların çok uzun notlar / ifadeler tutabileceğini düşünmek cazip geliyor ... ama baş dönmesi riski altında. Bir oboist nefes aldığında tekrar solumadan önce akciğerlerini boşaltmaları gerekir. Ama en azından onlara nefes alan bir yer verin.

Diğer yorumlarım, ilk birkaç dakika içinde ne obua ne de refakatçiliğin dinamikleri hiç değişmediği için daha çok bir harmonium gibi geldi. Parça, ona ifade verecek muazzam dinamik varyasyon için bir kapsama sahiptir. Ve ... uyum melodinin emrinde değişmez. Böyle olmasını isteyebilirsiniz, bu durumda lütfen yorumumu dikkate almayın. Triadların / akorların melodiye daha fazla ifade vermek için neye uyduğuna bakmaya değer olabilir - tonal bir parça olduğu için CPP'ye daha fazla uymak. Yakın bir kadans yok. 

Kesinlikle potansiyeli var ama biraz daha fazla çalışmaya ihtiyacı var.  

 

thanks for your comment. for two oboes, not playable? 

I see you're taking the p---. I was trying to help. If you don't want constructive comment probably best not to post here and ask what people think. 

14 minutes ago, Quinn said:

I see you're taking the p---. I was trying to help. If you don't want constructive comment probably best not to post here and ask what people think. 

 

First, chill. By the translation this is likely not their first language.
Second, I think he was confused by your thoughts of breathing considering the score shows it's written for two oboes, not one, so they were wondering if that problem of breathing was mitigated. You might think so or not, but that was their question. In other words, no, they likely misunderstood your breathing comment was in direct relation to creating a more realistic sound product as opposed to a score. 

1 hour ago, Quinn said:

I see you're taking the p---. I was trying to help. If you don't want constructive comment probably best not to post here and ask what people think. 

 

I do not know english. I use translation for what you write. Sorry if there was a misunderstanding. thanks for your constructive comment.

I'm happy to edit my comment to remove any confusion. 

I see in the score that it is written for 2 oboes, I would like to see it either written for one oboe, or to have more counterpoint between the oboes.

Assuming you want a classical/baroque feel, here is my suggestions:

*In measure 2 in Violin I & II, they have parallel motion by unison with the oboe. I would try to avoid that by making a counter-melody in the Violins. Same thing happens again in m5, 6, 34-39, and 41. In measure 40, beat 4 you have a perfect 5 going down to a diminished 5th, which I think is acceptable, but even if it is or not, I would like it to resolve, tritones love to resolve. 

Try to go for even-numbered phrases(preferable 4 or 8), your opening melody is 2 bars long, so use another 2 measure of filler, maybe you can introduce variations of the theme in the filler, or just straight 8th notes, whatever you want.

In measure 4 in Violin I & II , you have an interesting voice-swap/cross-voicing, which is unnecessary. It unnecessary because you don't have a melodic reason to cross-voice, and it doesn't change the nature of the chord.

*Measure 20 in the oboe, you have a dotted eighth followed another dotted eighth note followed by an eighth note. It should really be a dotted eighth followed by 16th tied to another 8th note followed by  8th note. The way you notated it makes it difficult to read for musicians.

You need to work on the cadence at the end, generally you want to end on the i or I or V(I would only use V if you know how to make it sound conclusive). Starting from measure 43 you have this chord progression: v -> VII -> i6 -> i

It is a weak final cadence. You want something more like: V V7 i(or I) It is much stronger.

The chord changes should really be on the strong beat.

Overall, this is a really good attempt. I think you are just starting to compose(am I wrong?), if you are, you are better than when I started. If you weren't going for a classical style, then ignore everything above except for the parts marked with a '*'.

I would try to learn about chord progression and voice leading from any music theory site, here is an English one:

http://davesmey.com/theory/partwritingrules.pdf

I hope this helps.

10 hours ago, i(don't)suckatcomposing said:

I see in the score that it is written for 2 oboes, I would like to see it either written for one oboe, or to have more counterpoint between the oboes.

Assuming you want a classical/baroque feel, here is my suggestions:

*In measure 2 in Violin I & II, they have parallel motion by unison with the oboe. I would try to avoid that by making a counter-melody in the Violins. Same thing happens again in m5, 6, 34-39, and 41. In measure 40, beat 4 you have a perfect 5 going down to a diminished 5th, which I think is acceptable, but even if it is or not, I would like it to resolve, tritones love to resolve. 

Try to go for even-numbered phrases(preferable 4 or 8), your opening melody is 2 bars long, so use another 2 measure of filler, maybe you can introduce variations of the theme in the filler, or just straight 8th notes, whatever you want.

In measure 4 in Violin I & II , you have an interesting voice-swap/cross-voicing, which is unnecessary. It unnecessary because you don't have a melodic reason to cross-voice, and it doesn't change the nature of the chord.

*Measure 20 in the oboe, you have a dotted eighth followed another dotted eighth note followed by an eighth note. It should really be a dotted eighth followed by 16th tied to another 8th note followed by  8th note. The way you notated it makes it difficult to read for musicians.

Sonunda kadans üzerinde çalışmanız gerekir, genellikle i veya I veya V ile bitirmek istersiniz (V'yi sadece nasıl kesin hale getireceğinizi biliyorsanız kullanırdım). Ölçü 43'ten başlayarak bu akor ilerlemesine sahipsiniz: v -> VII -> i6 -> i

Zayıf bir son kadans. Daha çok bir şey istiyorsun: V V7 i (veya I) Çok daha güçlü.

Akor değişiklikleri gerçekten güçlü bir vuruşta olmalı.

 

Genel olarak, bu gerçekten iyi bir girişimdir. Sanırım beste yapmaya başlıyorsun (yanılıyorum?), Eğer öyleyse, başladığımdan daha iyisin. Klasik bir stile gitmediyseniz, '*' ile işaretlenmiş parçalar hariç yukarıdaki her şeyi göz ardı edin.

Herhangi bir müzik teorisi sitesinden akor ilerlemesi ve sesi öğrenmeye çalışacağım, işte İngilizce:

http://davesmey.com/theory/partwritingrules.pdf

Umarım bu yardımcı olur.

 

 

 

 

 

thathanks for feedback. I will try what you say.