Does my piano countermelody need any adjustment?

So, I am writing this piece trying to evoke a summer evening and I thought that a duet might be the best option for that. And I figured that instead of using a woodwind, I would use a string instrument. Then I quickly, I decided to use the violin. And you can see already in 16 bars, different textures happening, which is a good thing. I'm thinking of possibly starting a second theme at Bar 17

• Bars 1-4: Solo Piano, Homophonic
• Bars 5-8: Still more or less Homophonic, but the violin enters with a grace note figure
• Bars 9-12: Violin main melody, Piano Right Hand middle voice, Piano Left Hand bass
• Bars 13-16: Bass still intact, but now a contrapuntal passage, still with the main melody in the violin, at least mostly

But after writing a countermelody, I'm now not so sure about the contrapuntal passage. It seems to kind of become a single melody and I don't know if that's because the bass line is still intact chords and arpeggios and not a melody in it's own right or what? I mean, piano does tend to blend with itself, but a countermelody more or less disappearing in the texture? If this were orchestral, I could see that happening, but in a duet, I don't see how it could happen and yet it has?

The chords are in an octave where I feel comfortable spelling them in close position. In fact, the only open position chord in my bass line is the second G chord with the added E on top. That gives, I think, sort of a split chord feel between G major and E minor. That chord could be analyzed as either G major or E minor, especially if it was in a piece that switched back and forth between G major and E minor. I would analyze it as Gadd6 though, because of the preceding G major triad and the key signature of D major.

Anyway, I digress. Why is my countermelody disappearing? Is it because of the bass line not being melodic? Is it because the countermelody gets awful close to the bass line? Here is the piece as it is currently(The audio for the piece including the bass line ends at 0:40) and then the contrapuntal passage by itself without the bass line.

Hi, nice and sweet melodies.

The counterpoint part seems to be well done, with no dissonances in strong points. I think the countermelody in the piano is blurred because of two facts:

1. The timbre of the melody and of the bass line is the same (piano), although they are separated in register. This is not perhaps the most important, in this case.

2. The chords in the bass part are too thick. You don't need them here. Just write only a bass line with one voice. The bass in counterpoint helps with the rhythm and harmony, but you have harmony defined in the melodies.

Additionally, it may improve if the bass moves in contrary motion. I would explore rising the violin part an octave in this part.

7 hours ago, Luis Hernández said:

Hi, nice and sweet melodies.

The counterpoint part seems to be well done, with no dissonances in strong points. I think the countermelody in the piano is blurred because of two facts:

1. The timbre of the melody and of the bass line is the same (piano), although they are separated in register. This is not perhaps the most important, in this case.

2. The chords in the bass part are too thick. You don't need them here. Just write only a bass line with one voice. The bass in counterpoint helps with the rhythm and harmony, but you have harmony defined in the melodies.

Additionally, it may improve if the bass moves in contrary motion. I would explore rising the violin part an octave in this part.

 

 

 

 

 

So going from the sort of 4/4 waltz type of thing I have occurring right now with the rising arpeggio to a chord to just a bass line without the chords should make the countermelody more audible than it is right now. I thought that it might have to do with the bass line, I just wasn't sure about it.