Raga-A world of ecstasy

https://flat.io/score/5ef0da584830d811e3e3737a-a-world-of-ecstasy

Hey, 

This was really fun. It would be really impressive to hear played live. It opens strongly - I personally am a big fan of that festival-lydian-mode type sound you have. While listening I was trying to come up with comments, and when I decided I wanted to hear some offbeat accents, your piece promptly gave me them so I was very satisfied with m. 15, but I think you abandoned it too quickly for other ideas. This is a minor complaint, though, because I like all the variations and permutations you use; a bit more syncopation throughout those would elevate them in my opinion. 

I think the piece goes by too fast for the 32nd rest offset in m. 27 to really be audible. Having those notes start on the second 16th subdivision of each beat rather than the 32nd would help the performers *and* listeners hear what you're going for in this section. 

One more thing - violinists may correct me but your triple/quad stops look no fun. In fact your last beat isn't playable because to play the top notes of the chords, you would have to play notes that don't exist on the upper strings. M. 32 could be better if you widened the voicing. 

I think you share the parts between players very well (m.41 was really good), and I think you achieve ecstasy with the piece. You've made something versatile that could be performed in any setting. Thanks for sharing.

thanks, i'll try to revise the piece again. AND BTW, The festival lydian mode is you meant,is the  indian raga called Hameer kalyani,we have this concept of parent raga and the raga's that take root from that particular raga (there are 72 parent raga). The western mode of lydian is equivalent to the 65th parent raga in the melakartha system, Kalyani and the raga i used here ( Hameer Kalyani)  was born from this raga.

15 hours ago, Mitchell said:

Hey, 

This was really fun. It would be really impressive to hear played live. It opens strongly - I personally am a big fan of that festival-lydian-mode type sound you have. While listening I was trying to come up with comments, and when I decided I wanted to hear some offbeat accents, your piece promptly gave me them so I was very satisfied with m. 15, but I think you abandoned it too quickly for other ideas. This is a minor complaint, though, because I like all the variations and permutations you use; a bit more syncopation throughout those would elevate them in my opinion. 

I think the piece goes by too fast for the 32nd rest offset in m. 27 to really be audible. Having those notes start on the second 16th subdivision of each beat rather than the 32nd would help the performers *and* listeners hear what you're going for in this section. 

One more thing - violinists may correct me but your triple/quad stops look no fun. In fact your last beat isn't playable because to play the top notes of the chords, you would have to play notes that don't exist on the upper strings. M. 32 could be better if you widened the voicing. 

I think you share the parts between players very well (m.41 was really good), and I think you achieve ecstasy with the piece. You've made something versatile that could be performed in any setting. Thanks for sharing.

 

Now I know that generally midi is incredibly unforgiving, but this was way too flat. A whole bunch of nonstop 16th notes just repeated ad nauseam generally without any break becomes tiresome very quickly. Also not only is the rhythm incessantly flat and repetitive throughout the whole piece there doesn't sound to me like very much variety in much of anything. You stay in the same very tight range the whole time and have very little variety harmonically and there is no melody at any point as far as I can tell.

This piece desperately needs some movement of some kind. Some negative space, some contrast, something anything to make it not sound like the same 4 seconds looped for 4 minutes.

Hi!

I took a look at your piece and found it to be very unique in terms of the instrumentation and structure of the piece!   I agree with the existing critiques that were given, and I would like to add a few more (geared more towards the playability side of things as I am a violinist myself):

1. The triple stops are unplayable as its impossible to play them. The rule of thumb for multiple stops on the violin is that one string can only be playing one note. For example, the C E G triad is at a low register and can only be played by the G and D string, hence you can't really balance 3 notes on 2 strings, which makes it unplayable

2. That alternation between running notes and left hand pizz is really hard, near impossible. The running notes already slightly challenging, and left hand pizz makes it near impossible for anyone other than a professional virtuoso (especially given its not a open string left hand pizz). I would suggest making the left hand pizz to be an open string (possibly the G below middle C)

3. The opening is very hard to coordinate between two violinists as it is parallel motion and playing the same note with two different violins is very hard to get in tune together, especially given the speed. It is very easy for that part to sound out-of-sync or not in tune.

so far thats all the comments I can give at the top of my head! I look forward to more of your compositions!

1 hour ago, U238 said:

Now I know that generally midi is incredibly unforgiving, but this was way too flat. A whole bunch of nonstop 16th notes just repeated ad nauseam generally without any break becomes tiresome very quickly. Also not only is the rhythm incessantly flat and repetitive throughout the whole piece there doesn't sound to me like very much variety in much of anything. You stay in the same very tight range the whole time and have very little variety harmonically and there is no melody at any point as far as I can tell.

This piece desperately needs some movement of some kind. Some negative space, some contrast, something anything to make it not sound like the same 4 seconds looped for 4 minutes.

 

Well composing with a raga in mind is incredibly hard in western music,because, there is less movement within one single note.

5 hours ago, BrotherVIOLA666 said:

thanks, i'll try to revise the piece again. AND BTW, The festival lydian mode is you meant,is the  indian raga called Hameer kalyani,we have this concept of parent raga and the raga's that take root from that particular raga (there are 72 parent raga). The western mode of lydian is equivalent to the 65th parent raga in the melakartha system, Kalyani and the raga i used here ( Hameer Kalyani)  was born from this raga.

 

 

 

Thanks - I appreciate your explanation