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Posted

Although not as egregious as the other piece of yours I just listened to my main complaint is the same, not nearly enough rhythmic variety. Although you break it up a little better in this piece with a little negative space here and there, the runs are all very uniform and square rhythmically.

The pentatonic idea is not a bad one, although has certainly been done many times before. Perhaps you could extend that concept a bit and use the same scale but modulated to get some harmonic contrast. Although I understand the premise of only using black keys, it does tend to all run together after a while especially with the lack of rhythmic variety.

I think you would benefit from trying to think more motivically, it seems you try to throw a lot of notes out there to make it seem like a lot is going on when really there is not much substance to it. Kinda ends up sounding like just running up and down a scale.

Keep at it though, there is a germ of interesting possibilities still in what I've heard.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Nice piece. If you only use a pentatonic scale, you'll get an impressionistic mood. But impressionism has many other resources.

I think the pedal mars could be improved because sometimes they break slurred important notes, other time there are many notes in that low register over the same pedal mark and forming a scale (that makes the sound a bit muddy): m. 3,4,5... This happens because you put one pedal per measure, always. Some texture changes are rough (and not justified): why from 4 voices in m 22 or 24, you go to 3 or 4 voices in 23 and 25; that's not serious but my ear feel it oddly.

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