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Completely rewritten and a bit more consistent in mood. This is a new style of piece (at least in atmosphere) for myself and I'm sure there are problems with it. All feedback is appreciated greatly.

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Posted
Quote

Completely rewritten and a bit more consistent in mood. This is a new style of piece (at least in atmosphere) for myself and I'm sure there are problems with it.

I can see how in writing a piece that's this chromatic it might be difficult to get all the notes to be quite 'right'.  Overall I think you did a great job though.  I love the rising melody you have at 13.  It gives a certain sense of impending doom, or an expectation of sorts.  I guess you accomplish that through really well chosen chords (Abmin to Dmin to Fmin and back to Abmin).  It does sound like a nocturne and the falling figurations you have at 52 and on are very appropriate.  I was hoping for some kind of faster decrescendo of an ending but what you have works too I guess.  The only gripe I can find with this is that the meter changes sometimes didn't seem to be required by the melody and hence didn't sound necessary so sometimes it just sounds metrically confusing when you change to 3/4, then to 4/4 then back to 3/4.  You could make your meter changes smoother if you write a melody that actually changes meter in the middle of it.  Just a suggestion.  Thanks for the music!

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Posted

Thanks very much that's very nice to hear. Yes its very chromatic so was quite hard to work out how to make it sound natural and how to fit the sections together properly. I agree I did try to come up with a bit of a grander ending but I couldn't come up with anything that didn't sound cheesy, so I settled with the current ending. It means it is a bit anticlimactic. I see what you mean, the melodies can sometimes suit 3/4 or 4/4 without having to change constantly. I'll work on smoothing out those time signatures. Thanks again for the advice.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Very dark mood that kept me listening all the way!   I like the unexpeted chromatic changes and I agree it's very rhapsodic.  I'm not sure what's happening at 3:42- 3:48, very low notes?  Superb piece!

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