Goodbye mvmt 1

The reason I didn't make a score is because it is an unrealistically orchestrated song (unless you're an air pump).

I don't think it's unrealistic - there are pauses between the phrases which should allow for breathing (in the beginning) or they could quickly sneak a breath in between the chords.  As for the woodwind scales you have - those could be staggered between two players on a part.  Nice job evoking the emotions it was meant for!  It took a few listens for me to appreciate the mood you were going for.

4 minutes ago, PaperComposer said:

I don't think it's unrealistic - there are pauses between the phrases which should allow for breathing (in the beginning) or they could quickly sneak a breath in between the chords.  As for the woodwind scales you have - those could be staggered between two players on a part.  Nice job evoking the emotions it was meant for!  It took a few listens for me to appreciate the mood you were going for.

 

ok in that case I will try to make a score tonight, and thank you!

5 minutes ago, Left Unexplained said:

ok in that case I will try to make a score tonight, and thank you!

I forgot to mention about the choir - the individual singers in a choir can also stagger their breathing so that no two people ever breathe at the same time - they just write their individual breath marks into their parts.  And you're welcome!

Sounds pretty practical, what exactly do you think is unrealistic about it?

It sounds really good. The sequence beginning around 1:08 is particularly nice, and builds up to a nice climax. 

I've heard quite a few of your pieces on here, and you're starting to get really good at the things you are good at (lush harmonies, cinematic feel, etc.) I want to try to point out a few things for you to experiment with going forward that might push you out of your comfort zone. I'm not saying anything you're doing is bad, or that you should change it in any way. Rather, this is intended to nudge you in a few new directions that might help you add some new tools to your toolbox, that might supplement what you already have.

• Experiment with less-frequent changes in harmony, and extend your melodies to get the most out of the unique sonorities you use. You use a lot of chord "loops" that change on a very regular basis (1-2 bars); instead try staying on one harmony for an extended period, like 8-16 bars, and extend your melodies to fully exploit these unique harmonies.
• Try and add more motion to your melodies. A lot of your melodies tend to be built around half notes and whole notes, try using shorter-value notes, using scales, arpeggios, chromaticism, skips, etc., to add interest.
• Make use of dynamics and expression CC parameters with your DAW to make the melodies more expressive. It sounds like they are static throughout much of the piece.
• Try to vary your orchestration and use the different instruments in ways you're not used to using them. 
• Experiment with counterpoint and having multiple melodic lines occurring simultaneously. I could easily imagine a countermelody starting around the 1:30 mark that would add to the drama of this climax.

Again, not saying you should stop what you're doing and do this, but rather experiment with adding these to your toolbox; I think these kinds of things might take your music to the next level. I know you're a big Debussy fan, so I imagine you're already familiar with this piece, but I think Prélude à l'après-midi d'un faune showcases alot of these kinds of things. Here's a score video on the off chance you haven't heard it. 

Thanks again for sharing, it's a very nice piece! I hope you get a chance to post a score, and I look forward to more works in the future.

3 hours ago, gmm said:

Sounds pretty practical, what exactly do you think is unrealistic about it?

It sounds really good. The sequence beginning around 1:08 is particularly nice, and builds up to a nice climax. 

I've heard quite a few of your pieces on here, and you're starting to get really good at the things you are good at (lush harmonies, cinematic feel, etc.) I want to try to point out a few things for you to experiment with going forward that might push you out of your comfort zone. I'm not saying anything you're doing is bad, or that you should change it in any way. Rather, this is intended to nudge you in a few new directions that might help you add some new tools to your toolbox, that might supplement what you already have.

• Experiment with less-frequent changes in harmony, and extend your melodies to get the most out of the unique sonorities you use. You use a lot of chord "loops" that change on a very regular basis (1-2 bars); instead try staying on one harmony for an extended period, like 8-16 bars, and extend your melodies to fully exploit these unique harmonies.
• Try and add more motion to your melodies. A lot of your melodies tend to be built around half notes and whole notes, try using shorter-value notes, using scales, arpeggios, chromaticism, skips, etc., to add interest.
• Make use of dynamics and expression CC parameters with your DAW to make the melodies more expressive. It sounds like they are static throughout much of the piece.
• Try to vary your orchestration and use the different instruments in ways you're not used to using them. 
• Experiment with counterpoint and having multiple melodic lines occurring simultaneously. I could easily imagine a countermelody starting around the 1:30 mark that would add to the drama of this climax.

Again, not saying you should stop what you're doing and do this, but rather experiment with adding these to your toolbox; I think these kinds of things might take your music to the next level. I know you're a big Debussy fan, so I imagine you're already familiar with this piece, but I think Prélude à l'après-midi d'un faune showcases alot of these kinds of things. Here's a score video on the off chance you haven't heard it. 

Thanks again for sharing, it's a very nice piece! I hope you get a chance to post a score, and I look forward to more works in the future.

 

Thank you for being so nice about that, I understand I don't just want to be this same person my whole career. I have mental illness so sometimes it is really hard to get motivation, even to write a piece, let alone learn new ways of writing pieces. I will try these suggestions and just try to keep trucking at the fundamentals so I can get to a point where I can understand larger musical concepts.