Allegro for violin (and cello)

First time composing for violin. Does it suck? 

It reminds me of Mozart's Musical Joke in parts (especially the first set of triplets).  Nice job!  I like the slowing down near the end.  Great use of neighbor tone chromaticism.  Thanks for sharing!

2 minutes ago, PaperComposer said:

It reminds me of Mozart's Musical Joke in parts (especially the first set of triplets).  Nice job!  I like the slowing down near the end.  Great use of neighbor tone chromaticism.  Thanks for sharing!

 

Now that you mention it, it does remind me of the musical joke too. When I think of a violin melody, mozart's style comes to mind so i wonder if my subconscious was influenced by it. Thank you for listening and commenting. 

I added a cello accompaniment

Another attempt at the accompaniment, its a good exercise. I'll upload the violin midi if anyone else would like to try an accompaniment.

I'm only going to talk about a specific little part, since I think the last version posted is serviceable and works fine.

So, the point of adding those little semitone suspensions is to imply a Dominant -> Tonic resolution. Not necessarily the tonic, but certainly a resolution of some kind. Even if you only have two voices, you still need to think what kind of harmony you're implying. So, in measure 9 there, it's in G major, then A minor (II degree), then A major ->  D major (double dominant) in beat 1 and 2 in measure 10, then G major, then... so that's the issue there with measure 11. It's a tritone from E to A#, which goes into a 5th. Very harsh sounding.

As it is, you can say it's maybe Emajor -> A minor, but it's still weird to have the E and A#. I think it'd be more elegant if that E would be replaced with a D on measure 11. That way it'd be just an augmented D chord that ends in a 6th that goes down the Amin there. You can of course change the C to an A for better effect.

Anyway, important thing to remember not every chromatic movement is made equal. If it's simply an ornament or an easy suspension, then there's no major need to think so much of the harmony through. But if it's inside a slower segment followed by more chromatic movement and that it has to go somewhere specific, then you need to know what the chromatic movements are representing. One instance is just for color and flavor, the other is functional.

3 hours ago, SSC said:

I'm only going to talk about a specific little part, since I think the last version posted is serviceable and works fine.

So, the point of adding those little semitone suspensions is to imply a Dominant -> Tonic resolution. Not necessarily the tonic, but certainly a resolution of some kind. Even if you only have two voices, you still need to think what kind of harmony you're implying. So, in measure 9 there, it's in G major, then A minor (II degree), then A major ->  D major (double dominant) in beat 1 and 2 in measure 10, then G major, then... so that's the issue there with measure 11. It's a tritone from E to A#, which goes into a 5th. Very harsh sounding.

 

As it is, you can say it's maybe Emajor -> A minor, but it's still weird to have the E and A#. I think it'd be more elegant if that E would be replaced with a D on measure 11. That way it'd be just an augmented D chord that ends in a 6th that goes down the Amin there. You can of course change the C to an A for better effect.

 

Anyway, important thing to remember not every chromatic movement is made equal. If it's simply an ornament or an easy suspension, then there's no major need to think so much of the harmony through. But if it's inside a slower segment followed by more chromatic movement and that it has to go somewhere specific, then you need to know what the chromatic movements are representing. One instance is just for color and flavor, the other is functional.

 

That makes sense. I was confused about how to treat the chromatic notes but now I will intentionally treat them as either ornamental passing chromatic tones or secondary dominant leading tones. I like your suggestion too about changing the E to D in measure 11. Thank you for helping me.

Im sorry for my passive aggressive remarks earlier. No one else noticed the weird dysfunctional bar in the andante and I'm glad you drew my attention to it as that was the whole point of me asking for a review! 

Not bad. Funny remark about Mozart’s music joke! 
 

My only criticism concerns the structure of the piece. It looks like you want to apply a rotational structure with the inclusion of the primary theme after the second repeat bar. However, without preparing the recapitulation, it’s addition does not really add anything further. 
 

If you intend to return to material in the exposition (as one would expect for a pastiche classical composition) a common way to prepare this is to finish the development section on the subdominant. The chord prior to the primary theme returning is a tonic chord, before which you set up a sort of finale. Therefore you can understand my concern about why you have included the final 4 bars and, more fundamentally, what structure you have devised here? 

On 1/12/2021 at 11:46 PM, Markus Boyd said:

Not bad. Funny remark about Mozart’s music joke! 
 

My only criticism concerns the structure of the piece. It looks like you want to apply a rotational structure with the inclusion of the primary theme after the second repeat bar. However, without preparing the recapitulation, it’s addition does not really add anything further. 
 

If you intend to return to material in the exposition (as one would expect for a pastiche classical composition) a common way to prepare this is to finish the development section on the subdominant. The chord prior to the primary theme returning is a tonic chord, before which you set up a sort of finale. Therefore you can understand my concern about why you have included the final 4 bars and, more fundamentally, what structure you have devised here? 

 

Hi, Markus. I wrote that piece a while ago so im surprised to see another comment but its welcome all the same.

That's a fair point about the form. I put the last bars in as an after thought to round the piece off. Im now studying 'Analysing classical form, an approach for the classroom' by William E. Caplin. I hope to improve my understanding of music from the classical era and compose in the language of the time more accurately because its my favourite and what I generally listen to.

1 hour ago, Papageno said:

Hi, Markus. I wrote that piece a while ago so im surprised to see another comment but its welcome all the same.

That's a fair point about the form. I put the last bars in as an after thought to round the piece off. Im now studying 'Analysing classical form, an approach for the classroom' by William E. Caplin. I hope to improve my understanding of music from the classical era and compose in the language of the time more accurately because its my favourite and what I generally listen to.

 

I have a book of his on form as well. Very useful although mine , titled “classical form” can be dense. 

Do feel free to message me privately if you have any questions. I’m still learning but happy to share my own experience