Piano miniature: A Bedtime Story

Hello,

This is the first of a set of short piano pieces I am writing inspired by learning how to be a parent (specifically, how my infant daughter sleeps).

As this is my first post to this forum, really looking forward to hearing feedback.

Thanks,

David

Thanks for those original harmonic changes!

This is quite a troubling bedtime story!  I hope your daughter can sleep easy after something like this!

I really enjoyed the dissonances you emphasized and the rich harmonic language that you used although you still stayed centered in E minor.  Nice job!

1 hour ago, Luis Hernández said:

Thanks for those original harmonic changes!

 

Tried my best!

56 minutes ago, PaperComposer said:

This is quite a troubling bedtime story!  I hope your daughter can sleep easy after something like this!

I really enjoyed the dissonances you emphasized and the rich harmonic language that you used although you still stayed centered in E minor.  Nice job!

 

Thanks for the feedback! It's a bit more "inspired by" than "for literal use" 🙃

@PaperComposer @Luis Hernández question for you (and anyone else) - I've got some feedback from others on the ending. So, without asking a leading question, I'm curious for your specific feedback on the ending.

The ending brings back the original motif to end in a somewhat more consonant and congenial way.  I could see this developing further and going to a contrasting theme where you insert the ending coda - is that what you meant to ask about?

15 minutes ago, PaperComposer said:

The ending brings back the original motif to end in a somewhat more consonant and congenial way.  I could see this developing further and going to a contrasting theme where you insert the ending coda - is that what you meant to ask about?

 

Yes, thanks. Some folks found the ending abrupt / jarring and was wondering if that opinion was shared. I rather like the unexpected ending as it kind of keeps in the theme of bedtime story with a cliffhanger “until tomorrow night” so to speak. 

But that’s most likely composer’s bias.

If it doesn’t seem egregious, perhaps I’ll keep it.

6 hours ago, dyross said:

 question for you (and anyone else) - I've got some feedback from others on the ending. So, without asking a leading question, I'm curious for your specific feedback on the ending.

Nothing happens to the ending, except that it is "weak" and open, no perfect cadence at all.

17 minutes ago, Luis Hernández said:

Nothing happens to the ending, except that it is "weak" and open, no perfect cadence at all.

 

Does it “work” in your opinion? Agreed it is weak / open from a theory / cadence perspective.