Minor piece i wrote

Don't have a name, and yes, i am well aware that you might not be able to play parts of it. And i am aware that the file is wrongly named.

I first had an idea for this 6 months ago but only wrote it down recently.

Hi Malum,

What I liked most:

* the variations at around 1'00, then at 1'20

What I liked less:

* the introduction (up to 1'00) is a bit too long and repetitive (especially the accompaniment)

* overall, too few variations (the theme is too often repeated, without major changes)

*  the end was really too brutal (it feels like it's not been completed)

Thanks for sharing!

I really like the double time sound, not sure what it is called starting at second 44. During the intro, the melody reminded me of building into something remeniscent of "for he's a jolly good fellow". It just sounds familiar, not sure if anyone else is getting that. But hey, I really enjoyed listening. 

@mazeth @Vaysou7

Thank you both for taking the time to comment on this.

5 hours ago, Vaysou7 said:

 During the intro, the melody reminded me of building into something remeniscent of "for he's a jolly good fellow". It just sounds familiar, not sure if anyone else is getting that.

I don't know how you saw that but thats cool that you did, and i'm glad you enjoyed listening.

15 hours ago, mazeth said:

the variations at around 1'00, then at 1'20

Good to see you at least enjoyed something 🤣

15 hours ago, mazeth said:

* the introduction (up to 1'00) is a bit too long and repetitive (especially the accompaniment)

* overall, too few variations (the theme is too often repeated, without major changes)

*  the end was really too brutal (it feels like it's not been completed)

 

Yes, i agree with all of these points.

The ending is because i had a deadline for it so i didn't have time to properly develop it, so i just c+p'ed and faded away (don't worry, i'm still working on the piece though!) And anyway, i'm not very good @ writing endings anyway.

On the middle point, I realised that there weren't many changes but i didn't know what i could change while still keeping the theme recognisable within the variant.

The left-hand part is supposed to try to build up tension a bit.... don't know how well it did that, and, yes, i probably could have made a left-hand that didn't drone on and have minuscule changes.

I do quite like this, because of its minamalistic feel in places and the way you have decided to build the intro gradually and use variations.

On 12/31/2020 at 6:01 AM, malumCompositor said:

i am well aware that you might not be able to play parts of it.

Although you said this, I'm going to say that I think the piece would be better written for a group of instruments rather than a piano. Reasons: The repeated notes in the left hand are impractical when played for so long; the lack of sustain on a piano means that bar 14 and similar, when notes are being held longer, do not come across well. If you did rescore it, the ensemble could still include piano.

A couple of other little things:

• In bar 22, the accompaniment changes from having to different notes to being an octave. It has the effect of weakening the harmony at this point as it becomes much more transparent. Perhaps a combination of thirds and octaves would work better.

• I think the harmony in bar 31 is a little too think, a result of having many notes down in the low register of the piano. I don't know an easy solution, maybe the passage would have to be reworked a little. I like the idea though.

• A very minor (no pun intended) thing - the pedal lines in bars 17 and 30 should really be below the stave. Also, the fact that they are the only two markings in the score is a bit confusing. Did you only want pedal there?

Good work!

aMC

4 hours ago, aMusicComposer said:

• A very minor (no pun intended) thing - the pedal lines in bars 17 and 30 should really be below the stave. Also, the fact that they are the only two markings in the score is a bit confusing. Did you only want pedal there?

 

I just would like to say that i probably will put more pedal in but i didn't get up to putting it in...

The pedal in bar 17 was an accident, idk how that happened, and as for bar 30, if i try to move the pedal, it just makes the gap between a set of staves bigger:

Thank you very much for your review.

Are you using musescore? If you delete the pedal line then re-enter it attached to a note on the bottom stave it should sort out that problem. 

Writing pedal isn't really necessary at any time, unless there is a very specific pattern that you want. Use of the pedal will change between pianos and the acoustics of the venue, so it's often better just to leave it out and let the performer deal with it.