'Romance' from 'Pieces for Piano' -- A first draft [Feedback Welcome]

Hi there, 

It has been a while since I have written any music, until recently when I have finally gotten the inspiration and motivation to continue. Here is a fifth piece in a collection of piano pieces that I am working on right now, and this is the first draft. Do let me know what you think of it. The first half was mostly written on the piano, but the second half was mostly written on MuseScore3 and I haven't played it out just yet -- will possibly need some tweaking once I have actually played it out. 

I like how you develop that initial idea/ostinato into a more involved pattern.  I think some of those lonesome notes that you have could use a damper pedal sustain from the previous chord to keep the texture more consistent.  As is those notes seem very barren/desolate by themselves.  I like the middle march-like section which is a good contrast from the previous part.  When listening without the score the piece seems to seamlessly segue from one section to another.  When I first heard this piece I thought some of your melodies were like run-on sentences but on second hearing that impression does not persist.  I like the ending - great job!

Awesome piece here. I love the smooth texture and the overall pace. The inclusion of the IV chord versus the iv gave a nice dorian feel to it. One of the better closing sections I've heard too, well done!

A few notes:

-why was there a 3/8 section? Could have been written in 6/8 since it had a similar feel?

-page 9 was a bit cluttered, I'd spread the measures out to page 10

-bar 238-253 felt a little unnecessary to me. Adding the melody on top was a nice touch in the previous measures, but took a bit long to get to your closing section

-spots like bar 53-64 felt a little monotonous. It's ok as is, and I know you were just restating your theme, but with the almost minimalistic approach you took with the A theme it seems like it could have been developed a bit further.

-The B section (2/4) seemed a bit out of place. I wouldn't change it necessarily, but maybe a different approach in the left hand (march-like octaves) would serve better. The melody is cool, but I got the impression it was from a different era or something. 

Overall great piece! I listened several times and it was very enjoyable. Your transitions were spot on and one of the many strengths of your music. I look forward to hearing more from you.

9 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

I like how you develop that initial idea/ostinato into a more involved pattern.  I think some of those lonesome notes that you have could use a damper pedal sustain from the previous chord to keep the texture more consistent.  As is those notes seem very barren/desolate by themselves.  I like the middle march-like section which is a good contrast from the previous part.  When listening without the score the piece seems to seamlessly segue from one section to another.  When I first heard this piece I thought some of your melodies were like run-on sentences but on second hearing that impression does not persist.  I like the ending - great job!

 

@PeterthePapercomPoser Thank you so much for your kind feedback. Regarding the lonesome notes, yeah, they do get kinda lonely. Hmmm, I'll try to see what it would be like on the piano itself, when I pull the damper pedal sustain from the previous bar over. 

The middle march-like section, I had some qualms about initially. Like it felt like the most natural thing to go into, but I didn't know if I should keep it because at the same time, I also had the 3/8 section subject in mind and I thought it was either or. I decided both after that. XP

And thanks for taking note on the transition, and also on the melodies --> now that you have mentioned it, I had that thought too when I wrote it, because the tunes just feel like they keep on going in the moment itself. 

Anyways, thanks so much for your kind feedback, again! 🙂

8 hours ago, Thatguy v2.0 said:

Awesome piece here. I love the smooth texture and the overall pace. The inclusion of the IV chord versus the iv gave a nice dorian feel to it. One of the better closing sections I've heard too, well done!

A few notes:

-why was there a 3/8 section? Could have been written in 6/8 since it had a similar feel?

-page 9 was a bit cluttered, I'd spread the measures out to page 10

-bar 238-253 felt a little unnecessary to me. Adding the melody on top was a nice touch in the previous measures, but took a bit long to get to your closing section

-spots like bar 53-64 felt a little monotonous. It's ok as is, and I know you were just restating your theme, but with the almost minimalistic approach you took with the A theme it seems like it could have been developed a bit further.

-The B section (2/4) seemed a bit out of place. I wouldn't change it necessarily, but maybe a different approach in the left hand (march-like octaves) would serve better. The melody is cool, but I got the impression it was from a different era or something. 

Overall great piece! I listened several times and it was very enjoyable. Your transitions were spot on and one of the many strengths of your music. I look forward to hearing more from you.

 

@Thatguy v2.0Thank you so much for your feedback and your notes!

- for the 3/8 section, I realise now that I wasn't thinking much about the time signature at the time, and that when the subject of the 3/8 section, it just felt like a triple time thing, so I went with it first... it was only until I reached the transition point to return back to the main subject that I realised... it wasn't so different at all, and probably didn't need to be. I will be cleaning up that section after this. 

- Yeah, I agree, upon looking at page 9 again. I'll probably be shifting the measures around too for the rest, for easy flipping XD

- Bar 238 - 253 --> I am of the same opinion with you here... I may consider at least just spicing it up a little at that area, but I'll see how it will feel once i've tried it out. 

- Bar 53-64 --> ngeheheheeh, I feel you here, but I will most likely keep this section as is. I have thought several times before about spicing it up, but decided to let things drop there. 😛

- The B section (2/4 section) definitely was something that I had qualms with earlier on when I started, but it was definitely something that I eventually decided on keeping in, because it was the first thing that popped into my head as soon as I finished the A section. 

All in all, thank you so so so so much, man! I really appreciate your feedback, and I will take some of these into consideration. 🙂