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Posted

Hi all 🙂

Here's the second movement, rather dramatic in the mood, with some harmonic personal research, trying to stay ear-compatible 😉

I was kind of exhausted at the end, so that it ends a little bit cut short, sorry for that.

 

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Posted

This sounds a bit pedestrian to my ears (I don't just mean that it's at walking tempo).  There doesn't seem to be very much differentiation or different sections in the piece.  It sounds as though it proceeds without any climax or respite.  It would be great to hear some more sense of urgency or purpose to the music.  The main theme is quite melancholic but I think it lacks a kind of breakthrough development or a sense of breath.  Maybe having a contrasting section in a different key is what I'm looking for?  It also sounds almost like a funeral march - I don't know if that was your intent?  The piece also stays in pretty much the same key throughout except for the end.  I guess you warned us about the end but it does seem like you just made a kind of artificial authentic cadence and called it a day.  Sometimes that kind of harmonic motion can make the whole piece seem that much more resolved since the whole piece could then be interpreted as a big V - I but in this case it doesn't sound resolved to me.  Of course - these are just my own personal suggestions and observations.  Thanks for sharing!

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Posted
15 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

This sounds a bit pedestrian to my ears (I don't just mean that it's at walking tempo).  There doesn't seem to be very much differentiation or different sections in the piece.  It sounds as though it proceeds without any climax or respite.  It would be great to hear some more sense of urgency or purpose to the music.  The main theme is quite melancholic but I think it lacks a kind of breakthrough development or a sense of breath.  Maybe having a contrasting section in a different key is what I'm looking for?  It also sounds almost like a funeral march - I don't know if that was your intent?  The piece also stays in pretty much the same key throughout except for the end.  I guess you warned us about the end but it does seem like you just made a kind of artificial authentic cadence and called it a day.  Sometimes that kind of harmonic motion can make the whole piece seem that much more resolved since the whole piece could then be interpreted as a big V - I but in this case it doesn't sound resolved to me.  Of course - these are just my own personal suggestions and observations.  Thanks for sharing!

 

Thanks @PeterthePapercomPoser

About the funeral march, didn't came to my mind, but I get you for the main theme ; why not after all 😉

True that it might lack some variations or breakthroughs...

On the other hand, this is an andante casi adagio, which aims at a slow paced development without too many emotional demonstrations.

Didn't mean to go through many key variations.

Thanks for reviewing !

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