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It sounds nice, although it looks as a draft. With passing tones it would be much better.

@Gyugcac, Yes!!!  Gyugcac, you are ready for the dissonant journey!  Adding on what Luis had said, stress the consonants, adding "pop reference" to the sound.

Obwohl ich diese Komposition liebe, glaube ich, dass sie von vorbeigehenden Tönen profitieren würde. Ich mag Ihre Verwendung von Vorzeichen, um der Komposition Interesse zu verleihen.

Was jedoch die Basslinie betrifft, glaube ich nicht, dass ein Pianist glücklich wäre, wenn er so viele Hilfslinien lesen könnte. Nehmen Sie also vielleicht die Noten mit zu vielen Hilfslinien eine Oktave tiefer.

Ich hoffe, mein Feedback ist hilfreich.

Vielen Dank!

Duo

Although I love this composition, I think it would benefit from passing tones. I like your use of accidentals to add interest to the composition.

However, regarding the bass line, I don't think a pianist would be happy to read that many ledger lines. So perhaps take the notes with too many ledgerlines down an octave.

I hope my feedback is helpful.

Many thanks,

Duo

On 5/29/2021 at 11:23 AM, Luis Hernández said:

It sounds nice, although it looks as a draft. With passing tones it would be much better.

 

Thanks for the kind words

On 5/30/2021 at 2:29 AM, Vonias said:

@Gyugcac, Yes!!!  Gyugcac, you are ready for the dissonant journey!  Adding on what Luis had said, stress the consonants, adding "pop reference" to the sound.

 

Thanks for the kind words