Nocturne no.2 - Lonely Night

A nocturne I composed inspired by Edward Hopper's painting called Nighthawks.Do you think the music reflects the atmosphere in the painting? or its title? Thanks for any feedback 

https://youtu.be/zJxKxDPXDnk

I LOVE the Romanian influence in the nocturne.  So calming, and lends itself well to saxophone, too.

Hi Mustafa,

As you know it can be difficult to give a general opinion on how someone would translate a visual object into music as it involves lots of components and the initial approach can lead to radically different results. From what I analysed of your piece, your goal seems to translate the atmosphere of the painting, you wrote a Nocturne titled "Lonely night" and the painting itself show a nightlife scene with a sparse bar counter. 

What I can say is that your part A (bars 1-17) contains a Theme with lots of syncopations wich is, for me, a strengh into your piece. It gives to your melody a quality of uncertainty that can refer to some extent (each person will construe it in his own manner) to the nocturnal element of the painting or even the wandering of our thoughts when we precisely are lonely at night and even the sentiment of loneliness itself. You superimpose a 3 beat feeling in the right hand to a 2 beat one in the left hand wich also gives this sensation of slight agitation, of a struggle of some kind. Your melody rises toward the high register adding more tension and dissonances between right and left hand are being heard. These elements give certainly a very good musical flavour to your piece.

I would add that from b.26 to b.40 these elements disappear. Of course, as a part B you chose to create a contrast but, you see where I am heading, we tend to lose a little bit of the complexity of the beginning, of the atmosphere that you installed earlier. The music becomes more consonnant and rythmically ordered. 

I hope that my message has been helpful ☔

On 5/26/2021 at 9:37 PM, Vonias said:

I LOVE the Romanian influence in the nocturne.  So calming, and lends itself well to saxophone, too.

 

Thank you very much for your comment, I'm glad you like it. i like the saxophone, an arrangement for it could be nice. i will try later

19 hours ago, Paul Orsoni said:

Hi Mustafa,

As you know it can be difficult to give a general opinion on how someone would translate a visual object into music as it involves lots of components and the initial approach can lead to radically different results. From what I analysed of your piece, your goal seems to translate the atmosphere of the painting, you wrote a Nocturne titled "Lonely night" and the painting itself show a nightlife scene with a sparse bar counter. 

 

What I can say is that your part A (bars 1-17) contains a Theme with lots of syncopations wich is, for me, a strengh into your piece. It gives to your melody a quality of uncertainty that can refer to some extent (each person will construe it in his own manner) to the nocturnal element of the painting or even the wandering of our thoughts when we precisely are lonely at night and even the sentiment of loneliness itself. You superimpose a 3 beat feeling in the right hand to a 2 beat one in the left hand wich also gives this sensation of slight agitation, of a struggle of some kind. Your melody rises toward the high register adding more tension and dissonances between right and left hand are being heard. These elements give certainly a very good musical flavour to your piece.

I would add that from b.26 to b.40 these elements disappear. Of course, as a part B you chose to create a contrast but, you see where I am heading, we tend to lose a little bit of the complexity of the beginning, of the atmosphere that you installed earlier. The music becomes more consonnant and rythmically ordered. 

I hope that my message has been helpful ☔

 

 

 

Hi Paul. Thank you very much for sharing your valuable comments and thoughts. Your description explains the emotions I want to express quite well. Thanks for your analysis that helped me understand how it sounds. As you said, part b breaks the darkness of the musical atmosphere.my aim here is that the despair of loneliness necessarily reveals a need for hope after a while;and when people are alone they struggle with many dilemmas in their heads. maybe this could be personal. As you say, convert a picture, emotion, into music or convert music into a visual can be personal and difficult to interpret. I think this is one of the hard things of composing. Thanks again

You are true about the contrast in the second part and I wouldn't suggest anymore to keep the complexity of the first section or even the atmosphere. 

Maybe to reinforce  these changes in the mood and create an alcove of serenity one could think about evolving into the registers (lower in A higher in B for example to give a sensation of some weight that is put aside or the idea of some kind of light (of course these extramusical ideas are not exactly what we perceive but are connected to some kind of relief)). The other way around (from high to low) could give a sensation of going from something tense, anxious to something warmer, soothed. 

A variation in the accompaniment of the left hand can also reinforce the contrast.

Many things are possible of course and I don't want to interfere too much with your personnal relationship with your piece and being a burden that way.

I try to give external ideas to reinforce yours and I hope it can be useful. 

I love the harmonies here.

I think the melody could have some more development, or less? There is a lot of material that doesn't fix itself. 

The last chords are muddy, they should be opened in that range. Also, it's odd that the final chord appears in inversion, but I don't have problem with that.

19 hours ago, Paul Orsoni said:

You are true about the contrast in the second part and I wouldn't suggest anymore to keep the complexity of the first section or even the atmosphere. 

Maybe to reinforce  these changes in the mood and create an alcove of serenity one could think about evolving into the registers (lower in A higher in B for example to give a sensation of some weight that is put aside or the idea of some kind of light (of course these extramusical ideas are not exactly what we perceive but are connected to some kind of relief)). The other way around (from high to low) could give a sensation of going from something tense, anxious to something warmer, soothed. 

A variation in the accompaniment of the left hand can also reinforce the contrast.

Many things are possible of course and I don't want to interfere too much with your personnal relationship with your piece and being a burden that way.

I try to give external ideas to reinforce yours and I hope it can be useful. 

 

Thank you again, the ideas you have presented are very nice and worthy of consideration. After your previous message, I thought a little more about the opposite sections. I guess I don't like hearing a contrasting middle part in a piece with a dark atmosphere.I'm not sure if it's good to spoil a certain mood. In terms of musicality, I need to think a little more about it, at least for the next piece. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts

11 hours ago, Luis Hernández said:

I love the harmonies here.

I think the melody could have some more development, or less? There is a lot of material that doesn't fix itself. 

The last chords are muddy, they should be opened in that range. Also, it's odd that the final chord appears in inversion, but I don't have problem with that.

 

Thank you Luis for listening and comment. You are right about the development of melodies. I think what I was trying to find here was to capture a certain atmosphere rather than melody. But I guess it was a bit rushed because I didn't have much time. 
i know the final chords are muddy, I guess it's a general rule that shouldn't be broken in lower ranges, i will consider this