2 Melodies

This composition is basically the title: There are only 2 melodies. I tried to mix between them, but I feel like it could be improved. Any feedback would be appreciated. The music sheet might be simplified, and so I apologize if it contains unnecessary clutters.

Hi, before I give you feed back on your composition I'd like to ask you first what your goal was in writing these melodies. Are you practicing melody writing or do you have a form in mind to develop these themes? And more broadly, what are your compositional goals? The answers to these questions would help to shape my response to your two melodies. 

On 7/24/2021 at 4:26 AM, bored_comedy said:

This composition is basically the title: There are only 2 melodies. I tried to mix between them, but I feel like it could be improved. Any feedback would be appreciated. The music sheet might be simplified, and so I apologize if it contains unnecessary clutters.

 

Hi, I'd 

4 hours ago, Papageno said:

Hi, before I give you feed back on your composition I'd like to ask you first what your goal was in writing these melodies. Are you practicing melody writing or do you have a form in mind to develop these themes? And more broadly, what are your compositional goals? The answers to these questions would help to shape my response to your two melodies. 

MP3

 

 

Play / pause

• 2melodies

0:00

 

 

0:00

volume

 

> next

menu

 

2melodies

 

> next

PDF

• attempt3

MP3

 

 

Play / pause

• 2melodies

0:00

 

 

0:00

volume

 

> next

menu

 

2melodies

 

> next

PDF

• at

 

Hi, I'd 

 

Yes, my goal with composition was to know how to write melodies and to have a more structured style of writing (Quick-Slow-Quick). I'm not sure what you really meant by compositional goal, however. I tried to create a melancholic mood in the second melody, but I really didn't know how I should've introduced it. 

Sheet music seemed ok to me given it's an example. You can trim the bars at the end when ready.

Point is, composing melody is so personal a thing that it's difficult to give feedback. Always easier if they have a context/a background against which they're set.

I found them rather choppy and angular but a) that's just me, b) in another form they might transform to something very lyrical. I mean, just changing #2 to a legato and perhaps altering rhythm and stress makes quite a difference in mood. 'Choppy' might be what you want (a sprightly ballet scene or something) in which case fine.

It might still be worth looking at traditional melody writing (if you haven't already) just to broaden your repertoire. Traditionally you'd have, say, two balanced parts, the first ending on some sort of imperfect cadence, the second on a perfect one. Also worth learning a bit about modulation as melodies usually lead somewhere which might be to a new episode/melody in a different key. Likewise you might have a surprise modulation in a melody but need to know how to get back to the home key. These things take a bit of practice across time but they come in the end.  Sorry if you already know this but in case others don't....

Usually, combining melodies counts as 'development' which often needs movement around different keys.  (for those who want to explore this from scratch have a look at almost any Mozart Sonata first movement or Eine Kleine.

There's a further point... writing for a melody instrument other than keyboard, the harmony is implied in the melody. You seem aware of this but it's worth experimenting with greater variety in a tune like this. For example, bar 3, shift the whole thing up a minor 3rd (to A flat) then back down in bar 4 to get back in the home key. 

Can you forgive me quoting your tune but changed thus, as an example?

Must admit I've never thought about compositional goals. It's been about self-expression above and beyond the capabilities of words and, if I get the chance, make a little money out of it with some commercial fragments or at least a decent dinner and a few beers if working with someone else for nothing! (which has little to do with self-expression but what the 'client' wants!)

Cheers.

I think any hobby becomes more rewarding when you have a goal to aim at. My mid term goal is to compose a piano sonata, my long term goal is to write a full scale piece for an orchestra. There are many shorter steps to take before I get there. I need to improve my harmony, learn orchestration etc. 

Music theory is a little like mathematics in that its best learnt sequentially, learning to count must come before learning addition and subtraction, and addition and subtraction before multiplication for example. I would highly recommend watching some YouTube videos on note value, rhythm and time signatures, then scales and key signatures. Then move on to melody writing especially the idea of the musical sentence. Learning these topics well will help you in your melody writing goal. 

I really like some of the ideas in your melodies and they are a great start. I took the liberty of reinterpreting the motif from your first melody into a simple sentence to give you an idea of how once you have a catchy rythm you can easily expand it once you know sentence structure.

8 hours ago, Papageno said:

I think any hobby becomes more rewarding when you have a goal to aim at. My mid term goal is to compose a piano sonata, my long term goal is to write a full scale piece for an orchestra. There are many shorter steps to take before I get there. I need to improve my harmony, learn orchestration etc. 

Music theory is a little like mathematics in that its best learnt sequentially, learning to count must come before learning addition and subtraction, and addition and subtraction before multiplication for example. I would highly recommend watching some YouTube videos on note value, rhythm and time signatures, then scales and key signatures. Then move on to melody writing especially the idea of the musical sentence. Learning these topics well will help you in your melody writing goal. 

I really like some of the ideas in your melodies and they are a great start. I took the liberty of reinterpreting the motif from your first melody into a simple sentence to give you an idea of how once you have a catchy rythm you can easily expand it once you know sentence structure.

 

 

MP3

 

 

Play / pause

• 2_melodies_20210726_181450

0:00

 

 

0:00

volume

 

> next

menu

 

2_melodies_20210726_181450

 

> next

17 hours ago, Quinn said:

Sheet music seemed ok to me given it's an example. You can trim the bars at the end when ready.

Point is, composing melody is so personal a thing that it's difficult to give feedback. Always easier if they have a context/a background against which they're set.

I found them rather choppy and angular but a) that's just me, b) in another form they might transform to something very lyrical. I mean, just changing #2 to a legato and perhaps altering rhythm and stress makes quite a difference in mood. 'Choppy' might be what you want (a sprightly ballet scene or something) in which case fine.

It might still be worth looking at traditional melody writing (if you haven't already) just to broaden your repertoire. Traditionally you'd have, say, two balanced parts, the first ending on some sort of imperfect cadence, the second on a perfect one. Also worth learning a bit about modulation as melodies usually lead somewhere which might be to a new episode/melody in a different key. Likewise you might have a surprise modulation in a melody but need to know how to get back to the home key. These things take a bit of practice across time but they come in the end.  Sorry if you already know this but in case others don't....

Usually, combining melodies counts as 'development' which often needs movement around different keys.  (for those who want to explore this from scratch have a look at almost any Mozart Sonata first movement or Eine Kleine.

There's a further point... writing for a melody instrument other than keyboard, the harmony is implied in the melody. You seem aware of this but it's worth experimenting with greater variety in a tune like this. For example, bar 3, shift the whole thing up a minor 3rd (to A flat) then back down in bar 4 to get back in the home key. 

Can you forgive me quoting your tune but changed thus, as an example?

Must admit I've never thought about compositional goals. It's been about self-expression above and beyond the capabilities of words and, if I get the chance, make a little money out of it with some commercial fragments or at least a decent dinner and a few beers if working with someone else for nothing! (which has little to do with self-expression but what the 'client' wants!)

Cheers.

 

 

MP3

 

 

Play / pause

• example

0:00

 

 

0:00

volume

 

> next

menu

 

example

 

> next

Thanks for both of you for your feedback and, more importantly, your editions! I liked papageno's (I played it more than once and had a smile on my face the whole time). I'll take your feedbacks, and I agree that I have to learn more before stepping into this area. I'm quite a beginner myself, and so no need to apologize Quinn 🙂. Again, I really appreciate your feedbacks!