MJFOBOE Posted May 19, 2022 Posted May 19, 2022 Hi all, This is a new orchestra composition. This is the most comprehensive version; although, I desire to enhance the orchestration at certain sections. All feedback is much appreciated. I have not presented this work to a mentor for any review and critic as yet. My objection was to take the motif introduced at the beginning and sufficiently work it - to maintain momentum, tension and interest as well as enable the listeners to use their imaginations. Please excuse any engraving faults at this point. Mark MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu Rendevous Unknown 5-17-22 > next PDF Rendevous Unknown 5-17-22 Quote
Quinn Posted May 20, 2022 Posted May 20, 2022 I thought it was an accomplished piece as it is, light-textured which gives is clarity and transparency. Because of that there are no problems with orchestral balance. You've rendered it well. So if you altered the instrumentation it would only be to suit your taste. For the length of the piece the motivic development seems fine, not overdone in the least. A modern feel while being within reach of most ears, I'd say. The only thing that raised my brow was the last few bars from 158 on didn't quite cohere. I don't know why, possibly because the rhythmic change and sustain hinted at a new episode starting up only to stop. Just my reaction - letting it peter out at bar 157, maybe a tiny rall or an extra rest between each of the last two notes with the Vas, Vcs and DBs would have worked. I played it again stopping it at just that point. Altogether enjoyable to listen to. Quote
MJFOBOE Posted May 20, 2022 Author Posted May 20, 2022 Quinn, Thanks for the review. I do have some ambivalent thoughts at measure 158 too. Originally, I ended the work as you suggested. However, I wanted to bring back a touch of the original sentiment. I'll see if I can make the transition more effective. Undecided at this moment which way to go. By the way I do appreciate your comments on the transparency of the orchestration. It is always difficult to assess the proper balance - you don't the want the score to be either to sparse or too ponderous. Mark Quote
Tom Statler Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 I listened twice straight through, plus a third time for spot-checks. Here are some thoughts: For the most part your orchestration is solid, but I disagree with your choices in a couple of places. At bar 19, I don’t think the snare drum roll adds anything. And from bar 31 to 60, having the violins play long tones in their middle range while the rest of the orchestra has the moving lines isn’t effective. Compositionally, I see what you’re doing with the slowly evolving treatment of your main theme and bit by bit changing up the notes in your initial motif. I think it works, partly. But about halfway through I start getting very conscious of how repetitive it is. Any 2-, 3-, or 4-bar phrase I hear I’m pretty much guaranteed to hear again, right away, and that hinders the gradual morphing I think you were going for. Also, there are a few extra unnecessary measures. I’d suggest just hitting the delete key on bars 59 and 157, and the transitions will be tighter. Quote
MJFOBOE Posted May 21, 2022 Author Posted May 21, 2022 Tom, Thank you for review. Yes, it is a real challenge ... to move ahead with the development of the thematic material. I already did lots of editing and tweaking ... I will review the measures you pointed out and give it a good once over. As I said this is the first comprehensive presentation without overview/engagement with a mentor. I am very aware the music is a bit "square". Mark Quote
MJFOBOE Posted May 22, 2022 Author Posted May 22, 2022 Tom, I incorporated you observations and yes ... they are correct. I deleted the measures (plus one extra at the ending transition) and I removed the violin long notes. I see now the violin obfuscated the clarity of the woodwind lines etc. I mistakenly thought it added to the harmonic fabric/texture. I am really pleased with the work at this moment. Again thanks for your suggestions. Mark Quote
Alex Weidmann Posted June 1, 2022 Posted June 1, 2022 Hi Mark, As a novice composer, I'm probably not qualified to critique your piece; but I really enjoyed listening to it! Loved the drama of your central motif, and the driving rhythm, beneath it. Would be interested to hear about your creative process, and how you came up with the initial melodic and harmonic ideas. Alex Quote
MJFOBOE Posted June 1, 2022 Author Posted June 1, 2022 (edited) 30 minutes ago, Alex Weidmann said: Hi Mark, As a novice composer, I'm probably not qualified to critique your piece; but I really enjoyed listening to it! Loved the drama of your central motif, and the driving rhythm, beneath it. Would be interested to hear about your creative process, and how you came up with the initial melodic and harmonic ideas. Alex Thank you for your ind words! Being Oboist - I play in numerous orchestras - so my ear is always tuned into the tonal fabric - I am an active listener - aware of various instrumental combinations. As far as my approach ... I usually go through many many revisions along the way. After a while a momentum comes into play which leads me on. For me, orchestration is also akin to being an architect - when I see a score I also envision a structure - sometimes a visual analysis helps to understand what is needed along with a tonal review. I am very fortunate that melodic/thematic material comes readily to me. The hard part is the development of those ideas - to ensure sufficient harmonic movement and variation of the thematic material. Being an amateur composer - with limited academic training - hinders me though (just one year of counterpoint); especially with complex harmonic movement. On the other hand - I approach the compositions with no preconditions. I am posting the version with suggested changes .... One more thing - I always have a visual picture of a scene or a context when I compose. Sometimes it's a story line and sometimes it might be a reference to a specific composer or a particular composition. Edited June 1, 2022 by MJFOBOE MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu Rendevous Unknown 5-22-22 > next 1 Quote
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