sonata 4 first movement almost done

So, I have the full movement, but I'm unsure about a few things and have some questions. Firstly, I have the first theme in C minor and the second theme in C major in the exposition and the recapitulation. Should I make the second theme in Eb or some more distant key, or just leave it? It wouldn't be too difficult since the transition is chromatic anyway, and the only downside would be that I'd need to learn it transposed. Second, in moments like measures 43 and 44 and measure 107, I feel like the rhythm isn't right, (check my performance). Third, starting on measure 305, I play a chord tremolo but start it with the full chord, (again, check my performance). How would I notate that? The way I did it doesn't look right, and I can't find much on that. Also, pay no heed the mistakes in my performance; it's not an easy piece and I haven't taken lessons in half a decade. Feedback is appreciated. Thank you 🙂 

33 minutes ago, ComposaBoi said:

Firstly, I have the first theme in C minor and the second theme in C major in the exposition and the recapitulation. Should I make the second theme in Eb or some more distant key, or just leave it? It wouldn't be too difficult since the transition is chromatic anyway, and the only downside would be that I'd need to learn it transposed.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. I listened to the live recording — the transitions to C major are effective and convincing, so I would say it's fine to leave it as is, at least from a structural perspective. (If you have meaning / symbology for each key signature here, by all means change it.)

35 minutes ago, ComposaBoi said:

Second, in moments like measures 43 and 44 and measure 107, I feel like the rhythm isn't right, (check my performance).

Didn't notice. Although you played very rubato, and the tempo changes are not notated in the score, so it's possible the outcome wasn't what you wanted. From the casual listener's perspective, it sounded fine.

36 minutes ago, ComposaBoi said:

Third, starting on measure 305, I play a chord tremolo but start it with the full chord, (again, check my performance). How would I notate that? The way I did it doesn't look right, and I can't find much on that.

The best way I think would be to tie the notes outside of a tremolo, followed by the tremolo notation. Something like this:

1 hour ago, ComposaBoi said:

Feedback is appreciated. Thank you 🙂 

Let's start with the musicality of the piece.

Harmonically and rhythmically, the piece was quite mature. You are not afraid of time signature changes (when necessary), and know how to get around from one key signature to the next. We stayed within the modalities (C minor, C major, etc.) long enough to establish familiarity — a very important concept in music. As mentioned earlier, the transitional passages were effective and organic, not forced or contrived. The music made sense.

There was, however, a notable lack of counterpoint or contrary motion; this produced a driving effect that never lessened throughout the life of this 10-minute piece. In other words, your harmonic movement was mostly parallel. (This was typically upward. The passages that had downward movement were usually not harmonized [e.g., mm. 44; 337 - 341], although there were a couple exceptions.) Of course, this doesn't mean the piece is poorly crafted! From this listener's perpsective, though, it became a bit too repetitive — despite the agressive nature of the movement. A couple brief pauses and a meno mosso section (or two) would have served this movement well, in my opinion.

Part-writing.

This is definitely an exciting piece to play! There are a lot of block chords here to really give the fingers a grip on the piano. It's fast and it's furious — a great combination to impress an audience!

I did note that you relegated accompaniment almost exclusively to the left hand. There are maybe two passages where the ol' mano sinistra gets to play the melody; otherwise, it's left making octave leaps up and down the bottom half of the keyboard. Now, certainly lots of well-written piano music looks like this (many Chopin waltzes and polonaises come to mind), so it would be wrong of me to criticize you for so doing. However, I would point out that melodies can sound just as cool with accompaniment above than below. Something to think about if you weren't already aware.

All things considered, this is an accomplished piece, and the issues (if they were even that) I took were mostly stylistic / preferential in nature. Fantastic job, and I look forward to the rest of this sonata!

Best,

Jörfi

In addition to the excellent points @Tónskáld have made, I'd like to add that I feel like there's a bit too many doubled octaves, esp. in the right hand. They sound good on the piano! But I personally feel they lose their lustre when it is used too much here. It also makes textural variations really difficult, since it's quite hard to write any counterpoint when the hands are stuck playing octaves! I'd write the second theme in C major without the octaves, for example.

Have you finished writing? It's an excellent piece of music already from what I've heard, and I'd love to hear the completed version. It'll stand extremely well as the 4th movement of a full piano sonata, I think.

5 hours ago, muchen_ said:

Have you finished writing? It's an excellent piece of music already from what I've heard, and I'd love to hear the completed version. It'll stand extremely well as the 4th movement of a full piano sonata, I think.

 

 

This is the first movement. I’ll probably be posting the second movement for feedback pretty soon. 

So happy you have pass through it! (Even though it is a celebration after 3 months😅) Currently I myself is stuck in my first movement of String Sextet...

This is a really interesting piece. The flow is much better, rhythm more varied and power retained. And you play it really well! I really don't care about the slips because there is fire and power in it. 

On 6/8/2022 at 12:32 AM, ComposaBoi said:

Firstly, I have the first theme in C minor and the second theme in C major in the exposition and the recapitulation. Should I make the second theme in Eb or some more distant key, or just leave it? It wouldn't be too difficult since the transition is chromatic anyway, and the only downside would be that I'd need to learn it transposed.

For my personal choice I will tranpose it to other keys, not necessarily the relative major. I think the movement is quite monotonal with both themes in C, regardlesd of its modality. I remember Mahler also retained the keys in the recap of his first movement of Second Symphony, but there is at least the contrast of c minor and E major. In the development I won't put that much time still in C major/minor. Maybe I will put the 2nd theme in remote keys like F sharp minor or E flat minor to give more contrast, but this is only my personal choice.

On 6/8/2022 at 12:32 AM, ComposaBoi said:

Second, in moments like measures 43 and 44 and measure 107, I feel like the rhythm isn't right, (check my performance)

I think it's ok!

Fot the part writing, I think @Tónskáld is right. I think there can be more interations between the hands, such as imitation of the motive in both hands and juxtapose them to build up a climax. I think the melody and be split in different voices, not just staying in either high or low register for several bars. There can even be some counterpoint usin the first four notes of first theme.

For me the semiquaver chords such as in b.134 is really difficult to play. I will only retain the upper and lower octaves with middle notes tied.

For my personal choice there can be an anticliamx. The piece is quite saturated with the opening and really passionate. Maybe some cool down time can create contrast of dynamic and texture.

This IS a great movement! But as @muchen_said, I think it's better the finale, because I think it well suited to end the sonata in this way, grand and passionate. Maybe the first movement can be more tragic? I really love the fire in it!