Ombres et Lumières

Hello, I wanted to share this piece of mine called 'Ombres et Lumières' (Lights and Shadows). It's about a walk in a quiet landscape where light is scattered through. I would like to hear your feedback about it if you have any, I personally like it but I worry it might seem a little slow (especially at the beginning).

I have included a (imperfect) recording I made of the piece, as well as the score.

Thanks 🙂

François

The first 4-6 measures are perfect, the triplets part is good but not as good as the beginning in my opinion but it's still nice. It doesn't feel slow to me. 

I like your interpretation, I don't know if you committed a lot of mistakes but it doesn't sound like it to me. I noticed you use multiples of 5 for the tempo markings. I am not sure if you followed your tempo strictly but if you didn't it's normal since your tempo markings are perhaps accurate to the point they would take some of this piece beauty if followed strictly. I see you often use "meno", is it for dynamics? (not totally sure since e.g: M10-M11, you come from forte, then you diminish the sound via decrescendo and you then put another meno, which would be kinda redundant assuming you're using that term for dynamics and not tempo) 

Kind regards!

8 hours ago, Omicronrg9 said:

The first 4-6 measures are perfect, the triplets part is good but not as good as the beginning in my opinion but it's still nice. It doesn't feel slow to me. 

I like your interpretation, I don't know if you committed a lot of mistakes but it doesn't sound like it to me. I noticed you use multiples of 5 for the tempo markings. I am not sure if you followed your tempo strictly but if you didn't it's normal since your tempo markings are perhaps accurate to the point they would take some of this piece beauty if followed strictly. I see you often use "meno", is it for dynamics? (not totally sure since e.g: M10-M11, you come from forte, then you diminish the sound via decrescendo and you then put another meno, which would be kinda redundant assuming you're using that term for dynamics and not tempo) 

Kind regards!

 

Thanks for your feedback!

Indeed, I don't follow the tempo too strictly. Because I change the tempo often, I decided not to go with the broad tempo markings such as 'Adagio' because then I wouldn't know how to indicate the various different tempos accurately. And I do use the 'meno' for dynamics, maybe it is redundant in some places indeed. Usually I use the decrescendos to indicate dynamic changes within a phrase and the dynamic markings for the general marking of the section, I don't know if that's the usual convention though, so it may be confusing!

François

What a beautiful piece. My only thought was that the climax from 24-32 might be more impactful if it were more "austere". The extra rumbling from the arpeggiation was a little more rich and romantic in character than the rest of the piece, at least in my mind. I was quite enjoying the open space the beginning created. I wonder if you could substitute the arpeggiation with something else, maybe rolling the chords on the downbeats. Or perhaps shifting some of the stresses to offbeats - I think the piece might benefit from slightly more variety in that regard throughout. Perhaps someone more skilled can give more concrete suggestions!

On 6/25/2022 at 1:44 PM, ercgrat said:

What a beautiful piece. My only thought was that the climax from 24-32 might be more impactful if it were more "austere". The extra rumbling from the arpeggiation was a little more rich and romantic in character than the rest of the piece, at least in my mind. I was quite enjoying the open space the beginning created. I wonder if you could substitute the arpeggiation with something else, maybe rolling the chords on the downbeats. Or perhaps shifting some of the stresses to offbeats - I think the piece might benefit from slightly more variety in that regard throughout. Perhaps someone more skilled can give more concrete suggestions!

 

Thank you for the comment! 

I understand your point. I think I might try your suggestions, it's an interesting point you mention. My idea was that the piece grows in dynamics and emotions gradually then slowly calms down. I'm glad you enjoyed the beginning of the piece, the space is the impression I was trying to create indeed.

François