francoisfj Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 Hello again, I'm posting a lot lately... This will probably the last one in a while! I am sending this score to a competition, I would be grateful if you could provide me with some of your feedback. I am also worried about the score, I may not be familiar with all the conventions or the proper way of writing the score, if you could point me towards mistakes or things to improve it would be really great! This is a song for mezzo-soprano voice and piano, based on the poem of Paul Verlaine 'Chanson d'Automne'. The audio is software generated, and I was not pleased with the voice playback of the software so I substituted the voice to a clarinet (but the actual piece is for voice and piano). Lastly, the score in the video is not the updated score (I have included the updated one separately as a pdf). I have removed things such as slurs in the voice part where it is not appropriate. Thank you! François PDF Chanson d'Automne - Piano AND Voice 1 Quote
francoisfj Posted June 30, 2022 Author Posted June 30, 2022 (edited) Here is the poem in french and its translationto english after: Les sanglots longs Des violons De l'automne Blessent mon coeur D'une langueur Monotone. Tout suffocant Et blême, quand Sonne l'heure, Je me souviens Des jours anciens Et je pleure; Et je m'en vais Au vent mauvais Qui m'emporte Deçà, delà, Pareil à la Feuille morte. Autumn Song With long sobs The violins Of autumn Wound my heart With languorous Monotony. All choking And pale, when The hour sounds, I remember Departed days And I weep; And I go Where ill winds blow, Buffeted To and fro, Like a Dead leaf. Edited June 30, 2022 by francoisfj Quote
PeterthePapercomPoser Posted June 30, 2022 Posted June 30, 2022 I am slightly confused about the way you've written your duplets in this piece. It might be less confusing if you wrote your duplets as dotted 8th notes which I think in this case they're equivalent to. As for the music - I like the tone set by this song. It sounds dreary which I think is the intent given the subject of the poem (which by the way is a curious one considering it's summer LoL). Thanks for posting the words in English for the community. I'm sure a real singer would add much emotion (or apathy since that's what I think you're going for LoL) and make it sound even more musical and affecting. Thanks for sharing and I hope you do well in the competition! Quote
pateceramics Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 I would see if it is possible to "hide" some of the bpm designations that accompany your rit. and accels. in the score. You need them to be physically present in the score to get the tempo changes to change at the rate you desire for the playback, but a performer looking at the score doesn't need so much specificity as a computer program, and just needs "rit." and "accel." and maybe the final tempo to aim for. In most composition software, there is a way to set some elements to "visible" versus "invisible" or to "hide" them. Something to consider since your goal is a professional looking score. My other question, which you would know better than me, is the copyright status of Verlaine's famous poem. I'm not sure how the law works in France. Is it free to use at this point, or do you need to receive permission from the rights holder? (Generally either his family or the publishing company that put out the most recent edition of his poetry). There have been cases of contest prizes being rescinded when it turned out that the composer did not have permission to use a text in their choral composition, because the organization holding the contest didn't want to get sued. Be sure you have checked if you haven't already. Good luck! Quote
MJFOBOE Posted July 4, 2022 Posted July 4, 2022 A beautiful lament ... with undulation of sadness. Good Luck~! Quote
francoisfj Posted July 5, 2022 Author Posted July 5, 2022 On 6/30/2022 at 2:03 AM, PeterthePapercomPoser said: I am slightly confused about the way you've written your duplets in this piece. It might be less confusing if you wrote your duplets as dotted 8th notes which I think in this case they're equivalent to. As for the music - I like the tone set by this song. It sounds dreary which I think is the intent given the subject of the poem (which by the way is a curious one considering it's summer LoL). Thanks for posting the words in English for the community. I'm sure a real singer would add much emotion (or apathy since that's what I think you're going for LoL) and make it sound even more musical and affecting. Thanks for sharing and I hope you do well in the competition! Thank you for the comment! I'm glad you liked the piece 🙂 Regarding the duplets, they are indeed equivalent to dotted eight notes, but I wasn't sure which notation to use! 1 Quote
francoisfj Posted July 5, 2022 Author Posted July 5, 2022 On 7/2/2022 at 9:03 PM, pateceramics said: I would see if it is possible to "hide" some of the bpm designations that accompany your rit. and accels. in the score. You need them to be physically present in the score to get the tempo changes to change at the rate you desire for the playback, but a performer looking at the score doesn't need so much specificity as a computer program, and just needs "rit." and "accel." and maybe the final tempo to aim for. In most composition software, there is a way to set some elements to "visible" versus "invisible" or to "hide" them. Something to consider since your goal is a professional looking score. My other question, which you would know better than me, is the copyright status of Verlaine's famous poem. I'm not sure how the law works in France. Is it free to use at this point, or do you need to receive permission from the rights holder? (Generally either his family or the publishing company that put out the most recent edition of his poetry). There have been cases of contest prizes being rescinded when it turned out that the composer did not have permission to use a text in their choral composition, because the organization holding the contest didn't want to get sued. Be sure you have checked if you haven't already. Good luck! Thanks for the feedback! I think that's a great point, there are too many tempo indications, I will simplify this 🙂 For the copyright status, I think it's in the pubic domain after a hundred years? I found the poem online for free, so I assume that's the case as well. I can check further but thanks for pointing that out! Quote
francoisfj Posted July 5, 2022 Author Posted July 5, 2022 19 hours ago, MJFOBOE said: A beautiful lament ... with undulation of sadness. Good Luck~! Thank you 🙂 Quote
Omicronrg9 Posted July 15, 2022 Posted July 15, 2022 I overall liked the piece. It's not ambitious, neither powerful nor triumphant. On the contrary, it feels humble, liquid, fainting, defeated. It has such a very particular beauty that I don't find everyday. Thank you for sharing it, any possible criticism that I imagined regarding the score was already said by other forum users so all that's left to say is good luck and cheer up! Kind regards, Daniel–Ømicrón. Quote
francoisfj Posted July 18, 2022 Author Posted July 18, 2022 On 7/15/2022 at 1:14 AM, Omicronrg9 said: I overall liked the piece. It's not ambitious, neither powerful nor triumphant. On the contrary, it feels humble, liquid, fainting, defeated. It has such a very particular beauty that I don't find everyday. Thank you for sharing it, any possible criticism that I imagined regarding the score was already said by other forum users so all that's left to say is good luck and cheer up! Kind regards, Daniel–Ømicrón. I'm glad you liked it : ) I think your description is spot on, thanks for the comment! François 1 Quote
Luis Hernández Posted July 18, 2022 Posted July 18, 2022 I like the mood in this piece. why did you use only one stave for the piano most of time? It's confusing. Quote
francoisfj Posted July 20, 2022 Author Posted July 20, 2022 On 7/18/2022 at 2:55 PM, Luis Hernández said: I like the mood in this piece. why did you use only one stave for the piano most of time? It's confusing. Thank you! I thought it would be easier to write the piano part in one stave, especially because of the held notes. I suppose it is indeed clearer for performers to write it on the two staves. Quote
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