JoshL37 Posted August 14, 2022 Posted August 14, 2022 Hello Everyone! This is my first full piece I ever made. I composed it a couple years ago, and I am still very proud of it and finally got to record myself playing it. I wrote it during my first very emotional struggle as a teenager. A very close friend had helped me get through it, help me feel some joy, and I am incredibly grateful for they're comfort and compassion. This piece is the result of that whole experience. Though it means so much to me, I hope you can find some value in it yourself! Let me know what you think down below, and I'd greatly appreciate any criticism, critique, or advice, as I am young composer interested in getting better at writing music and exploring the world of composers! Have a nice day! : D MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu Op. 1 MP3 > next PDF A Ray of Sunshine in a Cruel, Cruel World Quote
Luis Hernández Posted August 15, 2022 Posted August 15, 2022 Nice composition. it seems idiomatic. Although you make a great work with the "harmonic ostinato" it seems a bit too much. In the end, it's a fxed movement tonic-dominant from Fm or Ab. I would have considered a different part, but it's your work. Congrats. 1 Quote
Thatguy v2.0 Posted August 16, 2022 Posted August 16, 2022 Cool piece! I get an improvisational vibe from this one. I don't mind the repeated chord progressions, but make sure to really vary your melody if that's going to be your MO. I feel like too many times it's repeated or played in octaves a bit much. The embellishments were nice, but those seemed to be repeated as well. I really like your pacing in this, the ritardandos and transitions were well done. Loved the change in tempo at 3 minutes, and the ending was a nice touch in major. One part that struck me as odd was the section with rising chords right before the 2 minute mark. The left hand seems really dry while there's reverb in the right hand. Not sure if it's just me Overall, congrats on completing this one! For the future, always be thinking about the balance in harmony, melody, rhythm, texture, tempo, etc. If your harmony is static on four chords, really explore the melody, or think about changes in rhythm and dynamics. The list is never ending with how you can develop your music, so ultimately it's up to you how you prefer to do it. That's what makes you a composer imo. Anyone can come up with a melody or musical idea, but a composer knows what to do with it. Thanks for sharing, and feel free to comment on other composers' pieces. Most will check out yours in return! 1 Quote
JoshL37 Posted August 16, 2022 Author Posted August 16, 2022 Thank you both for the replies! I totally understand that the left hand ostinato goes on for a long time and is very repeating. I appreciate the honesty! Nowadays, my style interest has changed and grown which is good, but I can always work on it. Thatguy v2.0, you are right about the wonky audio. It was recorded with MIDI and then played by a sound font that I'm not experienced with, but thank you for pointing it out! And you're really right about balancing musical elements to make a fulfilling and engaging piece! Have a good day! Quote
MJFOBOE Posted August 17, 2022 Posted August 17, 2022 From a purely listening view point - it is a very pleasant work and creates a lovely scene - maybe of two young people in love strolling/waltzing along. Mark 1 Quote
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