Piano #133

Effective use of the relative minor!  Those staccatissimo notes are very unidiomatic to play for the piano.  Hammering away on the piano like that makes for a very harsh sound.  At the very least the left hand should be considerably quieter than the melody (which you can do in musescore by ctrl-selecting the notes whose velocities you want to change and offset their velocities in the inspector by say 20 or 30 (on a scale of 0 - 127) below the melody).

Also, your melodies are very often just arpeggiating the chord underneath.  I was going to say that you could try to make more use of non-harmonic tones to write better melodies but you actually already have plenty of those in this piece.  Maybe what's more striking about this piece is that it's one long run-on sentence.  There aren't any cadences or pauses in the onslaught of ideas you're presenting the listener with.  Usually when you speak to someone there are moments of respite before you begin another thought, right?  Same thing should happen with music.  Check out these wikipedia articles about different kinds of phrases you could try to build:  Period (music) and Sentence (music).

Thanks for sharing and I hope the above was at least somewhat helpful!

1 hour ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

Effective use of the relative minor!  Those staccatissimo notes are very unidiomatic to play for the piano.  Hammering away on the piano like that makes for a very harsh sound.  At the very least the left hand should be considerably quieter than the melody (which you can do in musescore by ctrl-selecting the notes whose velocities you want to change and offset their velocities in the inspector by say 20 or 30 (on a scale of 0 - 127) below the melody).

Also, your melodies are very often just arpeggiating the chord underneath.  I was going to say that you could try to make more use of non-harmonic tones to write better melodies but you actually already have plenty of those in this piece.  Maybe what's more striking about this piece is that it's one long run-on sentence.  There aren't any cadences or pauses in the onslaught of ideas you're presenting the listener with.  Usually when you speak to someone there are moments of respite before you begin another thought, right?  Same thing should happen with music.  Check out these wikipedia articles about different kinds of phrases you could try to build:  Period (music) and Sentence (music).

Thanks for sharing and I hope the above was at least somewhat helpful!

 

Thanks for the feedback. Your feedback is very helpful