Adagio

Here's an Adagio for small ensemble ... firstly part of a larger piece, then a string work and now for mixed ensemble.

Just reviewed it and small some adjustments to the score. 

Mark

Hey Mark,

The Horn and Clarinet parts and woven in nicely and compliment the surrounding instruments. I have a few small, critical suggestions, but I believe this piece is incredibly capable:

• I see that the title says Adagio, but this is more around the 86 BPM range which is more of an Andante. Adagio is more between 66-76 BPM. 
• I noticed the non-concert instruments are transposed in concert. No big deal, but it threw me off.
• In measure 21, Violas cannot play that Bb. Their lowest string is a C just above.
• There are many spots in this piece that I believe could benefit greatly from sustained notes that are not in the next chord - Leading & neighboring tones. It would add some great color and solve voice-leading issues. My favorite is when the 3rd of a previous chord becomes the 7th of the next chord and there are many places you could use that.
• Speaking of voice-leading issues. The fermata in measure 30 is a weak resolution in the eyes of our musical ancestors. One of the biggest rules I follow for the music I write is that one should never double an inverted bass note in the melody. Words of Rimsky-Korsakov, not mine. It's a diminished chord meaning there is no real root, so the foreground instruments (Violin I in this case) should not double whatever the bass instruments are playing. More importantly, there is too much parallel motion between the foreground instruments (Flute, Oboe, Bassoon, Violin I & II) in the previous measure.

I am usually reluctant to give feedback because my critiques and theory are based on old music theory that men hundreds of years ago wrote, but there music is remembered for a reason. I wouldn't have commented if I didn't think this had potential. However, if you do have questions and need me to elaborate, PM me and I will answer.

Great work, Mark
Patrick

Patrick,

Thanks for your insightful review/analysis of the work.  I will work on this piece and re-post and if you don't mind I might very well take your offer of assistance.

Mark

Post soon

Hi Mark

Cool piece, and it seems like you're editing this one for the near future. 

I don't know your final intent with it, but it sounds like you've gone through some reworking as far as it being part of something larger or stand alone. My main concern with this piece is the rhythm. It's very square, with everything moving at a quarter note's pace. Maybe it's the slower section coming after a fast paced one, but by itself I would consider having more flow in your texture. I liked the intro, but then it trots along without ever breaking that stride. 

Maybe some well placed eighth notes in the phrasing? I think your orchestration is fine, this has loads of color. Just consider the pacing when writing! Excited to hear the updates.

That's for the review .... here's a new version.

Tell me what you think - all suggestions most welcome.

In concert pitch~!

Mark

Love the improvements! Is this the final version or are you tinkering with it still?

8 hours ago, Thatguy v2.0 said:

Love the improvements! Is this the final version or are you tinkering with it still?

Thank you!

I am a bit conflicted here ... I do see potential to expand the orchestration and further develop the material.  The mid-section screams for further development ... and I did start to fiddle about with a contrasting movement.  We'll see ...

Once again thanks for taking the time to listen and respond to my posting.

Mark

 

Hi all,

This is the latest and most likely the final version.  My mentor keeps postponing our meetings ... so I am going to post anyway.  For those following this thread you can compare the initial presentation with this "finished" orchestra version ... with added sections.  This final version has improved transitions, tweaks in the orchestration, added material and I believe a more convincing conclusion. 

So all comments are most welcome.   I doubt I will post again - even if I do get a chance to review it with my mentor.  I have other orchestra works which need attention.

Please excuse engraving ... not completed.  the Adagio - is now titled "An Honored Guess has Arrived"

Mark

PS: This started as a short work for String Ensemble ... 

One more thing the score is NOT transposed.

Hi @MJFOBOE,

This is the first time I follow this post and certainly this is very enjoyable music! Again I love your modal usage which provides earthly vivacity in the first section and purity in the second section. The orchestral colour is very beautiful here and I especially like the middle sections featuring the woodwinds and percussion. Very energetic music in the folk style for me.

I still feel like the final triumph can be extended more since I find the triumphant chordal ending is a bit abrupt for me. Other than this I think the music moves really smoothly!

1 hour ago, MJFOBOE said:

Please excuse engraving ... not completed.  the Adagio - is now titled "An Honored Guess has Arrived"

Haha Yes... The engraving in p.38 will be terrible for someone who has Trypophobia... Even though I don't have that I am still in shock with the image...

Thanks for keeping your update!

Henry

Thanks for the review ... the third movement was the most difficult for me.  I do think it is not as strong as the previous two ... writing a convincing thematic conclusion has been quite challenging and yes - I knew the last few bars needed a bit more.  Yet, I did accomplish my objective(s) to write a full orchestra work based upon the opening string chamber piece and use a repeated rhythmic motif to create cohesion throughout the work.  I especially enjoyed writing the mid-section!  Now, I must decide - probably at a later date - to finish the ending properly!

Mark