a theme for piano

This is a a small theme or opening for piano, it is only 1 min long. Nothing much, but it could be interesting to continue from this. 

Hi. Various things here:
• Normally piano pieces are written on two staves per line for utility (specially readability) reasons. I'm sure you know about this so I really wonder why you did write things like this  . There's clearly a reason to introduce two staves instead of one in your piece.

If this was just a piece you produced with the sole interest of the sound it produces, I would not complain but since you provided a score and you specified that it's for piano, I think the scoring criticism is most adequate here, but after a superficial reading I feel like the mess is intentional. For some reason, this piece seems to be made to hinder readability and make the performer's life more difficult. E.g: what's the reason behind this?
 You have 2 Bb there but you decide to label the upper one A#, not mentioning the fact it would be much easier to see in two staves with three notes on each one (that of course turn out to be the same notes with an octave of difference).

Now, regarding the piece itself, where do you want to go from here or where do you think it would be interesting to go from this material? I ask because:
• You end the piece with a fermata.
• I cannot see the material you showed to be going to anywhere. The very first bars are a repetition of the very same intervals but changing the starting note and then introducing some small variations. The rest of the piece excepting that "rest zone" with quarter notes in the middle consists on more or less the same practice: a sequence of chains consisting of rythms and intervals that you modulate a few times before going to the next one with little or no relation between them. They're too short and too dissonant to resemble anything coherent to me so perhaps the interest would lie on making them longer and not restricting to modulation as the key technique to use for melody development? I'm not even talking about structure here, but this is as you say a 1 min theme so I don't think criticism in that regard would be useful.

I don't know, perhaps this sounds good to you; as long as you're satisfied with your composition it's fine, but in this state I didn't enjoy it at all, sorry. I believe dishonest feedback isn't what brings people here though, right?

In any case, remind this is just my humble opinion and that as long as you're really satisfied with how the piece is now it'll be fine.

Kind regards,
Daniel–Ømicrón.

Hey there

What program do you use to write music? If it's a DAW, then I can understand why the notation is pretty bad, but I would encourage you to at the very least use two staves when writing for piano. I understand composers who write for film or exclusively use a DAW without the need of a score to make music, but if part of your goal as a musician is to represent your music in a readable way, this doesn't work. Not one single piece of music ever written for piano looks like this, but like I said, if you primarily composed using a sequencer and haphazardly shared your notation for us to be able to view your work in notation, then yeah I get it.

I think you have a great start to something that could be developed further. What's the plan for this one? Too many times I hear an idea or theme posted here, but nothing ever comes to light as I pilfer through the current posts.  I'm always curious what the next step is. 

Some thoughts that come to mind:

- before you go to the chords in bar 10, maybe you could add some sort of counter melody. I like the dissonant style you're portraying, but what a great opportunity to develop this a bit. Maybe some sort of 2 part counterpoint, or even adding some chords for harmony would work as you continue to develop the theme. 

- maybe have the chords implied at bar 11 lead to a part where you repeat them but put a melody on top, possibly using material that you've already established in the previous bars. 

- I like how you take similar material and put it in a 5/8 type of phrasing, maybe you could make a reiteration of your material using that as a section that takes us somewhere new?

- the chord sections are cool, and it seems like you use those to add to what you've already established. Maybe an idea would be to develop that farther? What if you extended those parts as a harmony underneath some rhythmic motifs that you've given us with the 5/8 section?

You could make this several minutes long with the material you've presented so far. That's pretty much my point I suppose. Use the ideas you have already and stretch them out to craft something developed. It's always easy to develop ideas if you present a melody or motif and manipulate it. It will always sound coherent and logical if you take the ideas given and change them in whatever way you see fit versus constantly adding new idea after new idea. You titled this "theme for piano", and I'm interested where you take this one. What you've given so far sounds really cool, but as a composer it's up to you to find the best ways possible to stretch out your ideas in a suitable manner to craft something great!

I'd love to hear updates to this... don't give up on the theme you have and don't think that this is a finished idea! Loads of ideas come to mind for me as I listened!

Also, I once heard that anyone can come up with a musical idea, but composers know what to do with it. Keep writing, sounds like you have a promising start!