Echo (For SATB) Updated 12/30 Feedback requested.

Come to me in the silence of the night;

   Come in the speaking silence of a dream;

Come with soft rounded cheeks and eyes as bright

   As sunlight on a stream;

      Come back in tears,

O memory, hope, love of finished years.

Oh dream how sweet, too sweet, too bitter sweet,

   Whose wakening should have been in Paradise,

Where souls brimful of love abide and meet;

   Where thirsting longing eyes

      Watch the slow door

That opening, letting in, lets out no more.

Yet come to me in dreams, that I may live

   My very life again tho’ cold in death:

Come back to me in dreams, that I may give

   Pulse for pulse, breath for breath:

      Speak low, lean low,

As long ago, my love, how long ago.

The poem is a plea for a lost loved one to return to a dream. The speaker longs for the return of the loved one, who has passed away and seems to seek closure or peace. The poem is bittersweet, as the speaker remembers the happy times they shared, but also realizes that those times are gone and can never be regained.

I would love any feedback anyone has. I haven't written for a long time and plan on showing this to a friend so being blunt is the best way forward.

This piece is quite a bittersweet. I am sure it will sound better if performed by real voice!

I think the lyrics can be clearly indicated to different voices. Places like bar 54-55 tenor and bass won't clearly know what the lyrics is.

Maybe there can be more interaction between voices? I think the interactions between voices in bar 53-59 is quite good and should be added in other places too!

Some word paintings (I guess I am quite old-schooled) can be added? For example I don't find the lyric "bittersweet" in bar 30-31 bitter enough.

I am sure this piece can be even better with more details added! Nice job!

I love the material here. I think this could really benefit from better voice leading though. The bass line, for instance, has several spots where it jumps to the octave with the soprano -which in itself isn't bad, but is something that hinders things a little bit. There's also a lot of contrary motion -which tends to make things less interesting.

One thing I'd recommend is removing the voice samples and playing each part with the piano samples. This way you aren't blinded by the way the synth sounds and can focus more on each individual line and it's interaction within each moment.

Thanks again for sharing!

Hi @Some Guy That writes Music,

I don't see the update until now! Now I find the score very detailed, and the lyrics is clear now! I honestly don't remember about the previous draft, but I now I find this quite enjoyable! I still hope there are more voice exchanges between voices, but for me the sound is good and I enjoy those distinctive sound of parallel octaves and fifths. Thanks for sharing and updating!

Henry