Valse Chagrin -WIP

Salvete, 

Since my string quartet was getting nowhere, I decided to work on something else to relieve me of my frustration. Inspired by @David_DLM's waltzes, I decided to write a waltz alla Tchaikovsky or Strauss by splicing different ideas from waltzes I had floating around in the dark depths of my Musescore folder. So far, I've got a couple of sections completed, and I'm currently working on a third section and a coda.

This version of the waltz is written for the piano, but once I've finished sketching out the rest of the piece, I will orchestrate it. I am aware that bars 61 to 76 have sections that are unplayable on a piano, but I'm just sketching out my ideas at this stage. Also, the phrase from bars 21 to 24 is just filler, as I could not figure for the life of me something that could join those two sections up.

Anyhow, please enjoy this, I think it's the best thing I've written to date.

Arrivederci, 

Expert21

I thinl that's a cheerful waltz!

1 hour ago, expert21 said:

Also, the phrase from bars 21 to 24 is just filler, as I could not figure for the life of me something that could join those two sections up.

For me I will just delete those bars since I think these two section can join together!

1 hour ago, expert21 said:

I am aware that bars 61 to 76 have sections that are unplayable on a piano, but I'm just sketching out my ideas at this stage.

I suggest to move the left hand to a lower octave. Even it can played in an orchestra, the melody will be drowned by the accompaniments arround it in the same register.

1 hour ago, expert21 said:

Since my string quartet was getting nowhere, I decided to work on something else to relieve me of my frustration.

That's a really good method actually. Sometimes you have no inspiration on one work and you work on another one first, and at last you will generater sone ideas on yoir first one! I try that before when I wrote my first clarinet quintet though, that's one of the reason it takes me 6 years to write.

I enjoy this and keep writing!

Henry

Amazing waltz you got there! It is a great idea to write for piano before orchestrating. That is how I always do it. Orchestrating ends up being a lot easier because you can visualize what is happening in the music. Your sections are well structured and help the waltz flow smoothly.

I would use 7th chords before returning to the I chord at the end of a section, like for example in m. 19. A D7 would fit perfectly because it keeps the momentum going and also yearns for a resolution in the next bar.

I enjoyed it a lot, and really want to listen to the finished waltz both for piano and orchestra. I'll be waiting!

Kia Ora,

First of all, thanks for the feedback, its been really helpful. Secondly, I've done some minor revisions to the material I presented before, and have also begun working on a third section, and am currently working on a melody for that third section.

Nga Mihi

Arjuna (Archie)

I see your revision! That will be a great move to the dominant in the third section! The transitiom is good!

Now I think you can vary a little bit In b.37-48. Each phrase ends with a static chord, making the flow abruptly stopped, and you do that 3 times in a row. That will confuse audience if that's not your intention to do that. Some melodic and rhythmic fill up can be added between thoae phrases!

Also, most of the chords are in root position. This will first, creates many parallel fifths which is worse than parallel octaves since parallel octaves can be seen as doubling, while a parallel fifth cannot. Second, the root position chords tend to be strong and firm. If all the time it's strong and firm, it will be too functional to be boring. You can add more first inversion chords, dominant seventh, diminished seventh e.t.c to vary the harmonic color more!

Do you decide the tempo yet? I think the version now is a little bit slow and heavy. I see you love @David_DLM's waltz, and you can use his tempo to make it lighter!

Keep going!

Henry

Hi Henry,

Once again thanks for the feedback. I'm up to the Coda, Yay! 

Anyways, I've done more revisions and just wanted to share them. With regards to b.37-48., I'm about to start reharmonizing those bars.

Nga Mihi

expert21

Hi @expert21,

I listen to your newest update. Good progress!

I see in the third section b.78-86 you move to up D major, which is a good touch. However even if it's repeated, it's still too short to provide enough contrast to the previous sections. It should be extended and developed more, since it's now just 1 phrase. A binary structure will be more extended!

There's no modulation in it, so the D major isn't established, rather it's heard as the dominant of G major. Yoi can modulate to different keys, e.g. you can move to the dominamt of dominant, A major, or some minor keys like B minor to add more colours to it!

I think some voice exchange will be good as well! Like putting the melody to left hand!

Good progress and hope to see you finished work!

Henry

Hey there Henry,

SInce this become sort of a daily update thread, I thought I'd share what I did today. I finished the coda (might reveiw the final two bars), and did some stuff on the third section. I'm plan to finish the third section tomorrow and revise the reharmonization of bars 37-48 the day after. 

Thanks for your help so far, by the way.

Thanks,

Arjuna (Archie)

Hey @expert21,

I see your update! I see there is some change of the main theme in the coda including up an octave and add some fill up, which is good. Maybe the melody can also has a thicker texture instead of just a single note, for exmaple adding an octave or chord notes like 3rd and 6th will be good.

Yeah you should still extend more for the 3rd section. It's now quite abrupt to end on the dominant of B (not clear enough to be major or minor) and suddenly to D major without a cadence. It is a common practice to end on the dominant of relative minor and suddenly back to tonic major like in Haydn and Mozart pieces, but at least there are cadences.

Keep Going!

Henry