ComposedBySam Posted January 12, 2023 Posted January 12, 2023 I really put my soul into this one. Do not be shy to give me constructive suggestions. I really appreciate them 🙂 1 Quote
PeterthePapercomPoser Posted January 12, 2023 Posted January 12, 2023 This is really nice! In meas. 4 and 14 I was confused because your melody seems like it's syncopated but the rhythms fall on the beat in the rendition but I think that's because the piece is actually in 12/16 with 4 beats per bar instead of 2 (or you could notate it in 6/16 with 2 beats per bar). Or you could also double all your note values and notate it in 12/8 or 6/8. I love this piece though, musically! The ending is really unusual and like a cliffhanger - not at all a common resolution (I'm afraid that some might say it doesn't sound finished though). I love those kinds of endings in my own music so I liked what you did. Great job! 1 Quote
ComposedBySam Posted January 12, 2023 Author Posted January 12, 2023 1 minute ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said: This is really nice! In meas. 4 and 14 I was confused because your melody seems like it's syncopated but the rhythms fall on the beat in the rendition but I think that's because the piece is actually in 12/16 with 4 beats per bar instead of 2 (or you could notate it in 6/16 with 2 beats per bar). Or you could also double all your note values and notate it in 12/8 or 6/8. I love this piece though, musically! The ending is really unusual and like a cliffhanger - not at all a common resolution (I'm afraid that some might say it doesn't sound finished though). I love those kinds of endings in my own music so I liked what you did. Great job!  Ah you're right... it's in 12/16... man I'm really careless when it comes to time signatures. Thanks for listening and giving a warm feedback 🙂 1 Quote
Henry Ng Tsz Kiu Posted January 12, 2023 Posted January 12, 2023 I definitely feel the soul in it! I love your harmonic language and the cantabile style in it! And it's in my favourite C sharp minor! I enjoy this throughout the whole piece! What I find abrupt is the ending. It's a like a storybook suddenly closed without preparation. Personally I would end more firmly, but I love what you do here as well. That cadenza in b.29 will be really difficult to play on time! I think using unmeasured appoggiaturas as in Chopin Nocturne will do justice to the passage! I will change the opening left hand accompaniment with a dotted quaver instead of a tied one. Very nice job here! Henry 1 Quote
PeterthePapercomPoser Posted January 12, 2023 Posted January 12, 2023 7 minutes ago, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said: What I find abrupt is the ending. It's a like a storybook suddenly closed without preparation. Personally I would end more firmly, but I love what you do here as well. Since I also mentioned the ending I thought I'd contribute my 2¢ to this. I think maybe the ending could be made to sound more final by having a gradual ritardando before the end. From my own experience I think even strange harmonies (like in this case a diminished chord) can still give a sense of finality if other elements of the music tend to contribute/suggest it. That's just what I would do. 10 minutes ago, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said: And it's in my favourite C sharp minor! Did you come to the conclusion that it's in C# minor from the very common inclusion of D#'s (even though the key signature is A major and it starts in A major) and the ending chord? I'm not sure if that's enough to say it's in C# minor - to me it seems more ambiguous. 2 Quote
Henry Ng Tsz Kiu Posted January 12, 2023 Posted January 12, 2023 33 minutes ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said: Since I also mentioned the ending I thought I'd contribute my 2¢ to this. I think maybe the ending could be made to sound more final by having a gradual ritardando before the end. From my own experience I think even strange harmonies (like in this case a diminished chord) can still give a sense of finality if other elements of the music tend to contribute/suggest it. That's just what I would do. Yes that's for sure. A live recording will definitely gives more justice to the ending. 34 minutes ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said: Did you come to the conclusion that it's in C# minor from the very common inclusion of D#'s (even though the key signature is A major and it starts in A major) and the ending chord? I'm not sure if that's enough to say it's in C# minor - to me it seems more ambiguous. It's sort of the amiguity that makes the harmony in it fascinating. But I will highlight all those C sharp minor element to call it a C sharp minor piece! That D sharp is a clue, but the common tones between A major and C sharp minor also gives me the clue. The melody often highlights C sharp and G sharp. Even it includes A at the beginning, it's for me more in C sharp minor since it's an ambigous A-C#-E-G#, and my ears automatically filters the A as the dissonance due to C sharp minor bias! Henry 1 Quote
ComposedBySam Posted January 13, 2023 Author Posted January 13, 2023 2 hours ago, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said: I definitely feel the soul in it! I love your harmonic language and the cantabile style in it! And it's in my favourite C sharp minor! I enjoy this throughout the whole piece! What I find abrupt is the ending. It's a like a storybook suddenly closed without preparation. Personally I would end more firmly, but I love what you do here as well. That cadenza in b.29 will be really difficult to play on time! I think using unmeasured appoggiaturas as in Chopin Nocturne will do justice to the passage! I will change the opening left hand accompaniment with a dotted quaver instead of a tied one. Very nice job here! Henry  Thank you very much for the valuabe feedback and I agree with most of your criticisms. Thanks for listening and appreciating 🙂 1 Quote
ComposedBySam Posted January 13, 2023 Author Posted January 13, 2023 2 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said: Since I also mentioned the ending I thought I'd contribute my 2¢ to this. I think maybe the ending could be made to sound more final by having a gradual ritardando before the end. From my own experience I think even strange harmonies (like in this case a diminished chord) can still give a sense of finality if other elements of the music tend to contribute/suggest it. That's just what I would do.  That's a great idea and actually even I thought of ending it in a ritardando but I didn't for some reason (can't remember my thought process). Anyway, I'll try to see what I can do to make it work better 1 Quote
Thatguy v2.0 Posted January 13, 2023 Posted January 13, 2023 Hey man, cool piece! I like the lydian feel to this, with colorful movements in the chords, even venturing a bit into E major. I've seen this type of score writing before, and just know it's a bit harder to read along with a background picture. Sure it looks cool, and it's cool for a video, but maybe for review purposes you could include a pdf of the score as well. Bar 38 seemed abrupt back to the original material, I'd maybe think of a way for future pieces to blend those types of spots a bit better. Fantastic composition, very beautiful and moving. P.S. you seem to know your stuff and I've seen you around before, so maybe share a bit of your thoughts with other member's music along with posting your own. They'd love to hear your opinions. 1 Quote
ComposedBySam Posted January 13, 2023 Author Posted January 13, 2023 10 hours ago, Thatguy v2.0 said: Hey man, cool piece! I like the lydian feel to this, with colorful movements in the chords, even venturing a bit into E major. I've seen this type of score writing before, and just know it's a bit harder to read along with a background picture. Sure it looks cool, and it's cool for a video, but maybe for review purposes you could include a pdf of the score as well. Bar 38 seemed abrupt back to the original material, I'd maybe think of a way for future pieces to blend those types of spots a bit better. Fantastic composition, very beautiful and moving. P.S. you seem to know your stuff and I've seen you around before, so maybe share a bit of your thoughts with other member's music along with posting your own. They'd love to hear your opinions.  Thank you for listening to this piece and sharing your warm feedback. I will comment on pieces here more often :) Quote
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