My first symphony and a beginner organ score

The organ piece is nice.  But you have these very short motivic ideas/cells that make it hard to build anything substantial out of.  With the kind of motives you use you'd be better off trying to write little inventions with them.  That would entail using the motives more contrapuntally and getting rid of all the block chords.  And the block chords in this organ piece also have scarcely any musical meaning in your piece.  They don't build tension or serve any kind of formal purpose to lead into the next section or anything.  If it were my piece I would take the following ideas:   and  and develop them contrapuntally in a more Baroque style.  The rest of the material seems like it's just filler.

The movements in your symphony are all really short.  The first movement is dying for some kind of secondary dominant, augumented 6th chord, or modal exchange to spice up the completely Bb major material.  The third movement is perhaps my favorite here.  In measure 51 you have a cross-relation between the Flutes C# and the French Horns concert C natural.  Also, in measure 54 beat 3 - those chromatic notes don't really make any melodic or harmonic sense to me.  They might have made sense if leading to a D (as part of a A7 chord - a secondary dominant of V) but that's not what happens.  The last movement is a bombastic fanfare-like finale that overbearingly emphasizes the Bb - F alternating 4th.  Usually 4ths can be used quite copiously in classical symphony finales.  But here you use that 4th exclusively as the main motivic idea of the whole movement which is kinda monotonous.

Hopefully this isn't too harsh - I like that you're trying to put out more substantial works by grouping movements together though.  Thanks for sharing.

7 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

The organ piece is nice.  But you have these very short motivic ideas/cells that make it hard to build anything substantial out of.  With the kind of motives you use you'd be better off trying to write little inventions with them.  That would entail using the motives more contrapuntally and getting rid of all the block chords.  And the block chords in this organ piece also have scarcely any musical meaning in your piece.  They don't build tension or serve any kind of formal purpose to lead into the next section or anything.  If it were my piece I would take the following ideas:   and  and develop them contrapuntally in a more Baroque style.  The rest of the material seems like it's just filler.

The movements in your symphony are all really short.  The first movement is dying for some kind of secondary dominant, augumented 6th chord, or modal exchange to spice up the completely Bb major material.  The third movement is perhaps my favorite here.  In measure 51 you have a cross-relation between the Flutes C# and the French Horns concert C natural.  Also, in measure 54 beat 3 - those chromatic notes don't really make any melodic or harmonic sense to me.  They might have made sense if leading to a D (as part of a A7 chord - a secondary dominant of V) but that's not what happens.  The last movement is a bombastic fanfare-like finale that overbearingly emphasizes the Bb - F alternating 4th.  Usually 4ths can be used quite copiously in classical symphony finales.  But here you use that 4th exclusively as the main motivic idea of the whole movement which is kinda monotonous.

Hopefully this isn't too harsh - I like that you're trying to put out more substantial works by grouping movements together though.  Thanks for sharing.

 

Thanks for replying lots of improving to be done

Hey @hw1234,

There's nothing I can add to Peter's great review and advice! Henry (not myself) you should always try to develop your motives, instead of writing short ones and never develop them! I see in your last post when you build up a good exposition. Why don't you try to develop that movement to become a sonata proper! You have so many good ideas, as @PeterthePapercomPoser listed here in these two short excerpts there are many, but you usually just ignore their potential. It's like you take all the food in the buffet but never eat them. For me, even if it sounds harsh, is a waste of materials! You definitely have the ability to utilize them! You can try to make love with your material and find out what can become of them!

Also you should really read books on music theory if you don't. There are many useful guidelines and examples for you to learn and folloe. It's not like we have to follow every melodic and harmonic rules in the book, but by knowing them you will know how to write with or against them, instead of writing with no starting point. This will make you compose more effectively!

I say this because I know you love composing. But composing do needs some kind of craft. Even Cage's 4'33 is a product of thinking, concept and craft. After all composing is a kind of expressing your own emotions and thoughts. You won't want your thoughts to be incoherent excerpts only, right? I really hope you can try more like the Mmsymphony 1!! You don't have to be afraid of faults when writing longer ones since we all have faults, and having those faults we become better composers! Hope to see your more developed works here, Henry!

Henry

On 2/5/2023 at 2:27 PM, hw1234 said:

Thanks for replying lots of improving to be done

And lots of improvement have been done already from what I listen. Not gonna repeat the advice, just passing by to give my support in the form of a comment. The last movement was not so convincing though (to my ears).

Also:

On 2/5/2023 at 3:05 PM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

Even Cage's 4'33 is a product of thinking, concept and craft.

Not buyin' this mate. My cat produces, thinks, conceptualizes, and crafts more when it "meows". That doesn't mean that I not be a big fan of this particular piece though, lol.

Kind regards,
Daniel–Ømicrón.

7 minutes ago, Omicronrg9 said:

Not buyin' this mate. My cat produces, thinks, conceptualizes, and crafts more when it "meows". That doesn't mean that I not be a big fan of this particular piece though, lol

Not buyin' this mate, who doesn't know that cats are much more intelligent than mere human beings lol!!