Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

Well, originally just an arrangement of a baroque entree.
But decided to make it sort of more original and more sorrow =.=
Anyway, I am currently stuck at the modulation part, not because I cannot compose further, but I feel like the work is lacking the heaviness...
Anyone can give me some advices?

Posted

Sounds amazing so far - do you have a score I could look at? Its difficult to figure out some backround parts at times, although you have a lovely contrast between parts!

  • Like 1
Posted
13 hours ago, jonesem12 said:

Sounds amazing so far - do you have a score I could look at? Its difficult to figure out some backround parts at times, although you have a lovely contrast between parts!

 

For sure! Will upload it once I return home wwww

Posted

Hi @SisselOnline,

15 hours ago, SisselOnline said:

but I feel like the work is lacking the heaviness...

I think with the combination only the piano can provide the heaviness with thicker chords, as pianists playing all those note in a Piano Trio.... Guitar for me is near absence with its plucked sound. Is that physical or emotional heaviness?

0:43 is weird for me with the melodic notes. I will further comment with the score!

Henry

  • Thanks 1
Posted

@jonesem12 @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu
Here you go, the audio and score after some more filling to melodic voices.

PDF
Posted

The guitar is too sparse. You've written for an instrument with strings yet you never use them. At times the piano is janky and unneccesarry; consider replacing these notes and putting them into some chords for the guitar. The right hand on the piano plays some really awkward octaves, which makes the piece too full. 
This is very good, i assume you have written mostly by ear and not by what looks good on paper. The sound is lovely, and the melody is very sweet. 
An ABA structure is common for baroque pieces, modulate into the relative minor and write a new subject with scalic or chromatic countersubject.

  • Thinking 1
Posted
1 hour ago, jonesem12 said:

The guitar is too sparse. You've written for an instrument with strings yet you never use them. At times the piano is janky and unneccesarry; consider replacing these notes and putting them into some chords for the guitar. The right hand on the piano plays some really awkward octaves, which makes the piece too full. 
This is very good, i assume you have written mostly by ear and not by what looks good on paper. The sound is lovely, and the melody is very sweet. 
An ABA structure is common for baroque pieces, modulate into the relative minor and write a new subject with scalic or chromatic countersubject.

 

Too full mmmmm

Really too full?

Also yes, I composed this by ear wwww

Chromatic sounds weird in this kind of work...?

Posted
On 4/8/2023 at 1:18 PM, SisselOnline said:

Still alive?

lol at least not dying for reviewing this...

For sure the voice leading is not always moving smoothly, e.g. btw b.28 third beat, b.30 with unresolved suspensions. Quadruple E naturals in b.25 and 31 may be too forceful in a major chord. I feel like sometimes you want to prevent parallel octaves but the voice leading is forceful, for example in b.36 the piano right hand alto part is forceful for me.

You can add more slurs for the strings since many of them are in legato I guess? The arco in b.19 cello is unnecessary.

The pedal marking for the piano is too long for sure especially when the harmonies are not in the same chord. And this is in Baroque style?! Pedals should never be overused! Also I'm more used to seeing Piano under the strings!

Thanks for updating the score! For sure I'm alive lol but if you want more reviews, you can try reviewing other members' works and they may return you the favour!

Henry

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...