Venus Variations-Theme + First Variation Sketches

G'day,

About a week ago I started sketching out a large scale Enigma Variations style work for orchestra. The theme I use in this work which I title the"Venus Theme" came about after a little improvisation on a piano in my school's music department. It's 15 bars long and is made up of a very long 11 bar phrase, and a short four bar phrase. The first variation starts at Bar 16 (marked Moderato) and is in 6/8 time. I vary the accompaniment for the most part of the variation by altering it to triplets while the melody remains the same. 

My sketching process is to just get the general idea down on a Piano score to be able to visualise how the general idea would go. The actual final work will be a lot more fleshed out than what I've shown here. This piece is about a girl and each variation is supposed to depict different aspects of her using the theme as a representation of her as a whole. This first variation is supposed to depict her beauty, and the triplet accompinament has always sounded magical to me for some reason.

Please give me some feedback on the variation side of things and I'll drop the second third fourth and fifth variations soon,

Arriverderci,

Arjuna

Hey Arjuna,

Here the thema is only the first section. Usually in a variation form the thema will be in a binary, rounded binary or even a ternary form. This will give more materials for later variation. Even in Enigma Variation you can divide the theme to three parts: original G minor, brief modulation to G major and back to G minor and ends in picardy third. (Not Picardllllly lol) In your variation it's more a basic harmonic skeleton as in a passacaglia which you can build on.

The first variation varies the accompaniment by turning the chords to broken chords only. Look like there will be more changes later on!

The F natural in b.4 and 8 should be E# though.

Thanks for sharing and hope to see your update!

Henry

Alright, pretty nice so far.

The theme is very simple, which is good for a theme and variations because it allows for a very thorough exploration in the variations. However, I almost think it may be a little too simple. 

The accompaniment is the weakest part of the theme in my opinion and I think is what causes the theme to be ineffective. I understand you want it to be very simplistic since it's just the theme and you'll do more interesting accompaniment in the variations, but just simple chords every measure inhibits any motion or direction, which is important. A rule of thumb that I made for my own use is "don't decide where you want motion, make everything move and decide where you want stillness."

Something as simple as an 'oom-pa-pa' or an arpeggio could do the job well enough.

Now regarding the first variation, I don't think it really counts as a variation. I mean, all you really did was change the accompaniment for the first half. (You also changed the time-signature, but it made little to no difference in pulse to me).

When writing theme and variations, you need to know how to vary a theme, which I think this piece is a perfect opportunity for you to learn. Here are a few things you could do to vary the theme:

• change time signature (e.g., from 3/4 to 4/4).
• add more notes to the theme (the best example of what I'm talking about is Beethoven 5 mov 2. Look at the first and second variations of the first theme, they're just adding more notes, but it works so well).
• change the mode from major to minor, or some other mode.
• invert or put it upside down.
• change chord progression.

These are the most common ways I can think of. I'll also suggest you transition between some of the variations and modulate a bit, that is, if you want this to be more than, say, 5 mins.

(edit) One more thing, the chord on b.13-14 doesn't feel right to me. I think you should change the E to an F.

Also, thank you so much for following me! I'm excited to watch you grow as a composer, and hopefully then you'll have great advice for me! 🙂