Piano Piece "Please" in C Major

Short original piano composition called "Please!". It is my first composition after a break of 2 years. It is inspired by the music of composers of the romantic era. Another big inspiration was the painting "Lamia" by John Waterhouse.

It has the following structure:

A - B - C - A'

A : Main theme in C Major

B : Secondary theme in d sharp minor

C : Transition from B to A' in c minor

A' : Dramatic variation of A in C Major

Thank you for listening! Feel free to comment 🙂

In measure 7, if using sharps the chord would have to be spelled as G#, B#, D#.  I think using flats would be preferable there since all the flats can easily be borrowed from C minor (Ab, C, Eb).  In measure 8, the right hand notes would also make more sense as Ab and Gb (the minor 7th of the Ab major chord making it a dominant 7th OR you could spell it as as Ab, C, Eb, F# making it a German 6th although it doesn't resolve to a G7 chord nor a C 6/4).  In measure 3, when you use a G# it's acceptable since it's an augmented chord, but in measure 11 and 12, the chord you seem to be using there is either an F minor major 7th or a D minor 7th b5 which should be spelled with an Ab rather than a G#.  Likewise in measures 19 and 20.  In measure 38, since D is the leading tone of the chord, it might be better to spell it as a Bb chord, otherwise as an A# chord the D could be spelled as a Cx (double sharp).  But those are just nitpicky enharmonic notation things.

The music is quite pleasant and romantic!  It sounds like the melody is a kind of song without words, very lyrical.  Thanks for sharing!

5 hours ago, alex2east said:

first composition

nice start. develop these ideas in a piece extended out to the length they deserve. do not hold back, live up to the artistic potential that the current version of this work points to, a potential much to be desired and eminently possible, i think. achieving great art is not necessarily 'easy' or quick. these comments may have no particular meaning for you, only you can decide that, so i present them here only in general terms. 

Hi @alex2east,

This is for sure pleasant listening! Like Peter said it's lyrical and romantic and I enjoy this.

I love how use F minor chord in the otherwise peaceful first section. (I just use the enharmonic suggested by Peter since it's more of a habit to use flats there). I like your modulation to D sharp minor very mature as it's not artificial and forceful at all! The use of Neapolitan sixth in b.36 is very Schubertian for me as it reminds me his Impromptu in G flat major. I like the 2 against 3 rhythm in b.59. The ending is good as well, except I may want a rit. near the end!

Thanks for sharing! Hope this first piece after 2 years inspire you to compose a lot more and share it here!

Henry

Very cool music

I really enjoyed the variety of melodic shaping you had, and the phrasing seems spot on. I'm currently writing something of this style, and am always re-evaluating enharmonics since I'm using lots of flats. Seems like Peter addressed some things I was going to mention though. 

Musically, it's wonderful. Very serene and peaceful. Thanks for sharing!

On 4/17/2023 at 1:27 AM, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

In measure 7, if using sharps the chord would have to be spelled as G#, B#, D#.  I think using flats would be preferable there since all the flats can easily be borrowed from C minor (Ab, C, Eb).  In measure 8, the right hand notes would also make more sense as Ab and Gb (the minor 7th of the Ab major chord making it a dominant 7th OR you could spell it as as Ab, C, Eb, F# making it a German 6th although it doesn't resolve to a G7 chord nor a C 6/4).  In measure 3, when you use a G# it's acceptable since it's an augmented chord, but in measure 11 and 12, the chord you seem to be using there is either an F minor major 7th or a D minor 7th b5 which should be spelled with an Ab rather than a G#.  Likewise in measures 19 and 20.  In measure 38, since D is the leading tone of the chord, it might be better to spell it as a Bb chord, otherwise as an A# chord the D could be spelled as a Cx (double sharp).  But those are just nitpicky enharmonic notation things.

The music is quite pleasant and romantic!  It sounds like the melody is a kind of song without words, very lyrical.  Thanks for sharing!

 

Dear Peter, thank you very much for your detailed review! Yes, I guess there are several enharmonic spelling issues in my score. I'm not a musician and I compose in a piano roll in a DAW-software. When a piece is finished, then I transcribe it into a score in MuseScore. My almost sole source of knowledge about music theory are some short videos of Gareth Green from the YouTube channel "Music Matters". I'll try to learn more about enharmonic notation in future.

K.R. Alex

On 4/17/2023 at 2:28 AM, AKAChristopher said:

nice start. develop these ideas in a piece extended out to the length they deserve. do not hold back, live up to the artistic potential that the current version of this work points to, a potential much to be desired and eminently possible, i think. achieving great art is not necessarily 'easy' or quick. these comments may have no particular meaning for you, only you can decide that, so i present them here only in general terms. 

 

Dear Christopher, thanks a lot for listening and commenting my piece - what a beautiful comment! Yes, this piece is really short, but I'm not going to work on it anymore, since I'm a very busy person and wanna use my spare time for new ideas and experiments. Another reason is, that I actually don't like this piece that much (composing it was tedious sometimes) and I am very glad to have finished it.

K.R. Alex

Dear @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu, thank you very much for taking time to listen & review my composition!

On 4/17/2023 at 6:32 AM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

I like your modulation to D sharp minor

I'm glad you like it. I really wanted to try out a modulation to a rather distant key, particularly after learning some modulation-techniques as presented in the YT channel Music Matters.

On 4/17/2023 at 6:32 AM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

Hope this first piece after 2 years inspire you to compose a lot more and share it here!

Of course - your comment motivates me to do it!

K.R. Alex

On 4/18/2023 at 6:01 AM, Thatguy v2.0 said:

Very cool music

I really enjoyed the variety of melodic shaping you had, and the phrasing seems spot on. I'm currently writing something of this style, and am always re-evaluating enharmonics since I'm using lots of flats. Seems like Peter addressed some things I was going to mention though. 

Musically, it's wonderful. Very serene and peaceful. Thanks for sharing!

 

Thank you for listening and reviewing my piece! Yeah, I should really take much more care about enharmonic spelling issues. I hear it over and over again. I'm not a real musician. All I know about music theory I know from some short YouTube videos by "Music Matters". 

I'm glad, you liked it 🙂 

K.R. Alex