Symphony #3 in G minor (first movement)

Hi 🙂

I present you the first movement of my new symphony ; hope you'll like it.

https://on.soundcloud.com/zctEc

Music sheet added

Hello @Marc Deflin,

For me it really takes courage to write a symphony and your are writing your third one, so congrats on this!

That said, I am sorry to say this but I think the movement not quite satisfactory. The melody is fine but somethimes there are tritones between the melodic notes. More importantly I feel like the materials are not developed at all throughout the piece. I really could not grasp the form of the piece which could be fine if the orchestral colour is great, but unfortunately for me this is not the case. There are not many contrasting materials here, and it's mostly in G minor throughout except glimpses of Bb major, C minor and G major between the sea of G minor. This really makes the music not as attractive and interesting for me.

For the harmony I sometimes feel like it's bare since there's not much modulations,  and sometimes strange with the clash of tones. For example in b.7 and numerous places there are clash between Bb and A, and clash between G and F# in b.9 and numerous places. It's sometimes use with great effect like in Beethoven's Eroica if it's meaningful but I don't think the clashes here are meaningful. There's not even one tutti after the opening chord, and I am sure you are not writing in Webern's pointillistic approach, so this will undermine the sonority of the piece as it doesn't give contrast between tutti and solo sections, and this in turns make the solo sections less attractive.

For the orchestration I am not an expert myself, but I feel like some places are not satisfactory. For example in b.21 I feel like the clarinet will be overshadowed by the trumpet. In the solo sections like the bassoon solo in b.70 and clarinet solo in b.130, I feel it almost really is a solo when the orchestra doesn't provide adequate support there.

For the scoring issue, the opening tempo marking should be marked above the strings sections, not between the brass, and I feel like it's not mandatory here. In b.91 I think you have forgotten to add an arco marking for the viola. In b.95 I think you don't have to change the key sign to G major as it happens only for a few bars.

Thanks for sharing and I hope my comment won't be too nitpicky to discourage you! They are obviously not personal and not absolutely right and dogmatic.

Henry

Hi @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu,

Firstable, thanks for granting me so much of your time as it appears you did a quite attentive analysis of my work.

About tritones, might be, I've got no academic training in writing, so sometimes I do some little mistakes 🙂

This movement may also lack structure, but it's the way it was born progressively in some quite agitated nights.

The clashes between G and F# are intentional ; I regret you not appreciating them maybe the way I do.

Orchestration is not perfect, I agree, especially for the clarinet solo, which questioned me about "adequate support" from the orchestra, as you say.

Thanks for the arco marking missing 😉

Don't worry, there's no discouragement upcoming, those are just the little pains of growing towards better music 🙂

Have a nice day