My failed submission for Ryan Leach's competition

Small piece i composed for a competition in wich i didn't get selected.
I'm self taught so i'm looking for as much feedback as i can so i can improve.
here is the score : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hvymRFoiykn59-FECQW4TVWuHsVBdDx2/view?usp=share_link

and the audio : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iW5m5wE1OH5l_gEcGfnQKHvgdY0mjXRV/view?usp=share_link
 

Thanks for listening.

Compositionally, it's far from bad. One thing, which is probably just a personal preference, is that nothing really happens. It's just sounds and effects. It would be more fitting as a soundtrack than a standalone piece. (maybe that's what it was, idk). The orchestration is very good though.

The main problem is the engraving. For one, I think you could easily merge some staves to save space on the score.

You have only one clarinet in Bb? Conventionally, there would be two, and then the second might double as bass clarinet, but that is just convention.

I don't know why the bass clefs for horns come a measure late, those might as well be at the start. Also, the vibraphone stems are for some reason all facing upward, stems face down when at the middle line or above. I also find the "chg. intr." for the vibraphone and standing bell to be redundant on the first page.

You should specify in text the flutter tonguing for the flute, because as it is it's ambiguous whether you want them to retongue every note or fluttertongue. Also, tremolo notes are not tied. They may be slurred, but not tied.

Keep up the good work

36 minutes ago, ComposaBoi said:

Compositionally, it's far from bad. One thing, which is probably just a personal preference, is that nothing really happens. It's just sounds and effects. It would be more fitting as a soundtrack than a standalone piece. (maybe that's what it was, idk). The orchestration is very good though.

The main problem is the engraving. For one, I think you could easily merge some staves to save space on the score.

You have only one clarinet in Bb? Conventionally, there would be two, and then the second might double as bass clarinet, but that is just convention.

I don't know why the bass clefs for horns come a measure late, those might as well be at the start. Also, the vibraphone stems are for some reason all facing upward, stems face down when at the middle line or above. I also find the "chg. intr." for the vibraphone and standing bell to be redundant on the first page.

You should specify in text the flutter tonguing for the flute, because as it is it's ambiguous whether you want them to retongue every note or fluttertongue. Also, tremolo notes are not tied. They may be slurred, but not tied.

Keep up the good work

 

Thank you for your feedback.
I didn't mention that this piece was supposed to fit the mood of a particular artwork (https://www.artstation.com/artwork/XgBeQL) so it kinda is a soundtrack but i still tried to make it more than that if it makes sense.
About the engraving its clear that i lack a lot of knowledge. The stems facing upward are not from the vibraphone but from the woodblocks, and they were placed like this by default on musescore and i didn't really pay attention to it but now i know how to fix them so thanks for pointing that out. And i had to put the "change instrument" at the start because i started the score with two sets of percussion and not vibraphone and bols chantants (singing bowls?) but i guess i had to plan that before creating the score.
As for the flute i need to read more about it because i don't really understand what you are saying and for the tremolos i don't know why i tied them, i think i added the tremolos afterward so i forgot to remove the ties.
Anyway, i have to learn more now.

Thank you for taking the time to help me.

 

Hi @Mathieu,

I guess you are in for the same competition with @olivercomposer?

First of all, don't consider it as a failure. It's just not chosen but not failed in any account! There are many reasons for pieces not being chosen and it's not necessary that your piece is a failure! I agree with everything Jonathon @ComposaBoi said with regard of the good things and the scoring things.

I think for resuming the normal position after col legno is the "ord." or "sul ord." marking, rather than "normal" in b.6 viola. 

It's difficult for oboe to control for soft dynamic in low register, but you have many of those for the first oboe in the first 7 bars. I think you can use English horn to play those notes for better control.

Thanks for sharing!

Henry

1 hour ago, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

Hi @Mathieu,

I guess you are in for the same competition with @olivercomposer?

First of all, don't consider it as a failure. It's just not chosen but not failed in any account! There are many reasons for pieces not being chosen and it's not necessary that your piece is a failure! I agree with everything Jonathon @ComposaBoi said with regard of the good things and the scoring things.

I think for resuming the normal position after col legno is the "ord." or "sul ord." marking, rather than "normal" in b.6 viola. 

It's difficult for oboe to control for soft dynamic in low register, but you have many of those for the first oboe in the first 7 bars. I think you can use English horn to play those notes for better control.

Thanks for sharing!

Henry

 

Thank you for your feedback it helps a lot !

There's nothing failed about your composition so I hope you're back in a frame of mind to know that if it's what you want it to be, it's perfectly successful.

Always a problem turning an art into a competitive sport. Not winning can be so discouraging. The composer who won just happened to press the right buttons on the judge. It has nothing to do with whether something's been well-composed, level of craft demonstrated etc. Even a voting competition, it's down to the most "popular" - which is often because it's the simplest to understand or absorb.

Live performance is so rare these days that we all have to be ready for rejection.... but that doesn't mean our works are failures.

I had a look at the score - well enough engraved though I might have done some things differently. Composerboi has mentioned a few  so to add mine: Fl 2 in bar 6: the staccatissimo bottom C. It could probably manage an mf to balance with the ensemble but it's very weak there. Same in bar 6 & 7 with Ob 1. The previous dynamic on the oboes was pp. There's no way you'll get a realistic pp on the oboe's low B, staccato or not. These things can work in a DAW but not real life.

I'm not sure what the Viola harmonic in bar 16 (starts on a B) means. Is that meant to be the pitch of the harmonic or the fundamental note you want the harmonic on (i.e. would sound two octaves above)?. If it's the harmonic sounding at concert pitch I can't see how it's playable. Just putting "harmonique" above it doesn't say enough. You need to show what you expect on the note itself, a little circle above the note for a natural harmonic, a "diamond" shaped lozenge note at the place where you want to violist to touch the string for an artificial harmonic...........I haven't looked at any of the other harmonics. 

Anyway, I'll leave you with that. There are plenty of good things to say about your orchestration. It's original and interesting.

And an evocative piece. 

I think you set an intriguing background atmosphere/mood.  It would be very hard for me to write like this seeing as how it's almost a-thematic.  When I write music I have to guide my music through melodies, themes or motives.  But for a piece like this it would distract away from the foreground and destroy the creepy atmosphere.  You do have some repeating small cells/motifs in this though in the beginning in oboes.  This is a very delicate vibe you've created which, like I said, would be very difficult for me to emulate and takes skill to maintain for any substantial period of time.  I enjoyed it and I hope you learned from it despite not placing in the contest (and since you undoubtedly have learned something - I definitely don't think that it's a failure).  Thanks for sharing!